“Brandon!” she screams, and I wince. “Your brother needs to talk to you!”
“Ugh. Mom. Why?”
“Oh, hush.”
A series of clicks and brushes precedes my big brother’s booming voice. “What’s doing, little bro?”
I sink my forehead onto my forearms right there on the kitchen island. “Hey, Brandon.”
“Everything okay?”
I take two long breaths. How to extricate myself? Could pretend I’m on call. Would he believe me?
“Ah.” His tone grows more serious, and the noise in the background dims to nothing. “Girl problems?”
“What?” Great. My spine has learned to absorb tension like a sponge. Not a fan of this development. “That’s— No.”
He laughs. “Okay.”
“I mean... maybe? Are you alone?”
“Yeah. Is it the girl in the pictures?”
My hands clench, and I rise to my elbows, staring at theblue veins in the granite beneath. Of course Mom would show my brothers. Discretion is not her forte. “Yeah. That’s Joss.”
“That’sJoss? Christ, Ash. How have you been staring at that for three years and done nothing?”
Honestly? Now that I consider it, I’m not sure. Joss has always been on a different level than everyone else. Until recently, I was able to separate her from my baser desires. She stayed squarely in the Friend Zone despite her attractiveness.
Really fucked things up letting her in on my secrets. Never should have done it.
Now she’s in a whole new zone. Totally out of bounds and impossible to reach.
“It was easy,” I say. “Until it wasn’t.”
He sucks in a breath likeouch. “She mess you up?”
I slide my phone toward me, ignoring the repeat Dragon training email and idly clicking on things until I come across those forsaken photos. Worst mistake of my life, immortalizing these stupid feelings on the internet. How obvious is my face here?
I clearly want her.
Don’t need to keep looking at it, honestly. Strange sort of torture. I flip my phone, so the screen faces the granite. The PopSocket on the back stares back at me—a rubber duck surrounded by the words “Dear Autocorrect, it’s never DUCK.”
Sometimes it isduck, though. Other times, it’s most definitelyfuck. Like right now.
“I think I want more,” I say. Wow. The words actually came out. Can’t take those back. They’re in the universe forever.
“But she doesn’t.” It isn’t a question, and for some reason, that stings. My brother thinks Joss is out of my league.
Jossisout of my league. But still.
“No.” Hate that word, but it has to be said. It’s the truth. “She doesn’t. Found that out after I kissed her.”
He grunts, all gruff like he’s not sure what to say. I’m not sure what to say, either. Nice that he’s here, though.
“Really sucks, little bro.”
“Yeah. It sort of does.”
