“Well, I am quite a bit shorter than you are, Seth.”
“It’s not really my height that’s the problem.”
“So what—” she started to say. But couldn’t finish, because it had clicked in her head. And now her face was even hotter than before. She wasn’t sure how she managed to get words out. Ormake them jokey. But she did. “So basically you’ve got a bulge the size of a bus.”
“Honestly, ‘bus’ is probably understating it.”
“JesusChrist, dude.”
“I know, I know, somehow I’m being disgusting again.”
“No you’re not. That wasn’t why I exclaimed.”
“Then why did you?”
Fuck, she thought.Now I’ve got to explain.
Even though she was barely sure how to explain it to herself. Everything just felt so muddled and confused and heated—in a way thatshouldhave been resolving itself now that nothing sexual was happening. Now that this was just Seth, partly nude.
But somehow resolution was not happening.
If anything, she felt significantly hotter.
And her voice shook when she finally managed to force some words out.
“Because it’s astonishing. Not because it’s bad. Nothing you’ve done is bad, okay? I encouraged you to keep talking. I knew what was happening, or what could happen—because seriously, how could it not? It’s been years. The only surprise is you didn’t do what you did the second we started that conversation,” she said, and heard him let out a relieved-sounding sigh.
“Yeah, I had a few close calls somewhere in the middle.”
“And that’s all right with me. All right to do, all right to tell me. In fact, if anything it’s me that should have behaved better. I shouldn’t have pushed or been so—” she went to say. But thankfully he cut her off, before she could finish.
“Cass, I don’t care what you were like. You could have done anything, absolutely anything. I wouldn’t have been bothered. All that matters to me is that you’re okay with everything that happened.”
So that is that, she thought. “I am,” she said, and to prove it, she turned and faced him.
Eyes firmly above his waist, of course.
But she did it. And just in time to see his face flood with warmth and gratitude. “I can’t tell you what that means to me,” he said.“What everything you did means to me, honestly. Because I know it might be weird to thank you for what just happened, but god, I’ve wanted to say it for the last half hour. It was actually about five minutes of cleanup, then twenty-five trying to think of a way to apologize and be overwhelmingly grateful, all at the same time.”
“You have nothing to be grateful for. I barely did anything.”
“Cass, you created magic that made this possible. And then you didn’t even think about your own feelings toward me. All you thought about was helping me, even if that meant being embarrassed and uncomfortable. And that is just so… so… oh god, Cass, I would hug you if you were into getting hugs from me,” he said, in so heartfelt a way she knew she couldn’t lie.
There was no way to tell him,no, I’m not. Please never put your arms around me.
Even though the very idea of being hugged by him made her body prickle and heat, and her brain immediately go over all the things that might press against her. His bare chest. His nude biceps. That goddamn bus between his legs. Hell, maybe it would be all three at the same time.
But she had to force out the truth anyway.
“I am into it, Seth. We’re friends now. And friends do things like that.”
“So even after that disaster, I’ve been upgraded from standard enemy?”
“You’ve probably been upgraded because of it, if I’m being honest.”
He shook his head. “That is ridiculous. There’s no way.”
“I don’t see why not. It told me you were telling the truth, and it showed a lot of trust in me, and then it led to us having this heartfelt conversation. Apparently, in part, about your enormous package,” she said—mostly to see if she could break the tension that seemed to be building inside her.
