There was no excuse he could give. No claims of accidents that could realistically have put him in this state. He had nothing, and his expression said he blatantly knew it. Though god knows he tried all the same.
“Oh, hey, Cassie,” he said.
And to his credit, his voice almost hit breezy. He even managed a little hand wave. Like they’d just bumped into each other on the street.
“Seth, do you realize that your foot is inside my grandmother’s house,” she said. But even after she had, he still tried to maintain that casual, cheery manner.
“I do realize that. In fact I was just about to remove it from said house.”
“That’s good, that’s really good. But you know what would be better?”
“I feel like I do, but probably you should fill me in anyway.”
“Nothaving your foot inside her house in the first place.”
“Yep. That’s about what I imagined.”
He nodded, then. As if to underline what he’d said. But she could tell just by the tone of his voice that he knew he was beaten. An audible wince ran through it. And a healthy dollop of resignation. And when he finally managed to meet her gaze, those feelings were visible in his eyes.Go ahead and finish me off, they seemed to say.
So she obliged. “Then I guess now is where you tell me what possessed you to go ahead and do this batshit thing. And lemme tell you, the reason better be incredible,” she said. Though truthfully, shedidn’t expect him to come up with anything. And boy, were her instincts correct.
“All right, that’s fair. But I mean, first I have to know what constitutes incredible to you in this situation. Just so that I have some idea of what I’m working with,” he said, like the bullet-dodging bastard he was.
The worst part was, though, it worked.
She went with his flagrant attempt at changing the subject.
“Aliens abducted your feet while the rest of your body was still attached to them, and forced them through my grandmother’s window,” she suggested, then instantly regretted it. He almost smiled to hear her say it. Bare minimum, his eyes sparked with something like delight or triumph.
“Okay, how likely is it that I can get away with saying yes to that?” he tried.
Then somehow she just couldn’t help answering him. “About as likely as me declaring you incredibly trustworthy and kind.”
“Fuck, that is the most impossible thing I could ever imagine happening.”
“Yup. It’s very high on the no-fucking-way scale.”
“I’d believe the aliens thing before that one.”
“I guess you’d better come up with something better then.”
She said it as flippantly and dismissively as she could. With an added eye roll at the end.
But here was the thing: he seemed to take it seriously. Like a challenge, of the kind he really wanted to put his back into. His brow furrowed; he looked skyward for inspiration. Then after what felt like a thousand years, he snapped his fingers.
“Got it. How about: I sleepwalked here. And then unconsciously climbed in the window,” he said. And to be fair, he worked hard at making it sound plausible. She almost let herself consider it, for a moment. Then she remembered that all of this was ridiculous.
“That would be great. Really great. If it wasn’t one thirty in the afternoon.”
“Hey, maybe I go to bed super early.”
“What, like noon?”
“Yeah,” he tried to say.
Though she could tell he wasn’t even convincing himself. His whole face was creased. And he was already bracing for her response. Which she duly gave him. “Even the elderly don’t go to bed at noon, Seth.”
“Okay, but I could be much older than I look.”
