And in response he looked sheepish. He ran a hand over the back of his neck. Then he glanced away, as if searching for the right words to explain himself. “Maybe what I’m thinking of is not like screwing around enough, then. Possibly it’s too nice and soft and like we’re a real couple. Even though I swear, I totally get that we’re not. I’m not trying to make it more real. I just thought this one step we could take might make it all a little easier.”
And she knew, as soon as he said it, what he meant.
It sank in, slow and sweet as syrup, through her body.
“Seth, is the thing making out?” she asked, and oh, the way the sheepishness all over his face deepened. He actually toed the floor with his Converse-clad foot, and wouldn’t meet her gaze, when he answered.
“Kind of, a little bit, yeah,” he said.
Because he was a fool. A total fool. Who apparently had no idea how adorable he was. Or how much that made her heart race, against all her better judgment. In fact, she had to give herself a second,before she replied. Because otherwise, she knew her words were going to come out all breathless. When what she wanted was deadpan.
“And you honestly thought I wouldn’t want that,” she said.
And thank goodness her poker face seemed to have worked. He winced, instead of wondering why she was suddenly even hornier, over something as ridiculous as being asked for a kiss.
“Well, how would I know otherwise? You’ve not told me anything about what you might like,” he sighed. But then he had more to say, and oh no, oh no. “Which to be honest, kind of sucks even more than the speed and the clothes and the weird lighting. Because you know the thing is, it feels like almost everything we have done or are going to do is for me. You talk dirty until I come, or you make me magic lube so I can come, or you spread your legs and I climb on and fuck you. And there’s nothing in that for you at all. Which seems super unfair to me.”
Because ohhhh, that was hot. Way hotter than it should have been.
So now she had to somehow force herself to be neutral.
Instead of telling him the twelve things she wanted him to do to her, right now. “And what did you have in mind, to make it fair?” she asked, in a voice that shook just a little. And gotthis, for her efforts:
“I don’t know. Maybe kissing you on more than just your mouth.”
Then he held her gaze, so steadily and so pointedly that there no longer seemed to be much point in holding back. “So maybe my throat.”
“Oh yeah, that sounds good.”
“And after that a little lower.”
“By lower, do you mean, like, unlacing the front of that nightdress?”
Yes, oh yes please,she thought. But managed to be more nonchalant, in reply. “Been thinking about that, huh? About that bow right over my breasts.”
“It just looked like it would hardly take anything at all to untie.”
“Yeah. You barely have to pull, and the material just parts.”
“And then I could just slip my hand inside.”
She almost moaned to hear him say it. Yet somehow kept it in.
“If you want to,” she said, almost like a shrug in word form. Though of course, he didn’t take it that way. Instead, he made a very un-casual sound. A desperate groan, of the sort that made her melt. And his eyes roamed almost feverishly, over everything she had just said he could touch.
“I do. I want to stroke you, softly,” he said, voice so low and hoarse she could hardly hear it. She had to lean forward, she had to strain for it. And when she did, the hand he had clenched at his side lifted. His fingers unfurled. Like imagining it was so powerful, it almost felt like he was already in the middle of doing exactly that. He could see the parted fabric, and her arching into a touch he wasn’t actually giving.
All of which she only wanted to encourage.
“That sounds really good. You can do that.”
“And then I could follow it by kissing you wherever I’ve touched.”
“Oh that’s even better. Go on. What next?”
You know what’s next, her brain informed her. She couldn’t feel embarrassed by it, however. She was too busy devouring every word she knew he was going to say, notepad forgotten, everything forgotten, just every part of her open to wherever he was going to escalate this to. And oh, he did escalate it. He leaned down, his heaving breaths all warm against her face, her lips. One inch away from kissing her, as he answered.
“I do it until you’re squirming. Until you’re begging me to make you come.”
