“Wow, that is somewildbeginner’s luck.”
“I know, right? So weird and fortunate of me.”
“Sure hope you’re being as weird and fortunate to the ex-mayor.”
“Oh you mean the guy who embezzled six million dollars and escaped prison? I mean, I did hear that his seventy-inch flat-screen went missing, and is now next to the mattress on the floor of my, quote unquote,bedroom. But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.”
“Definitely a coincidence,” she said solemnly. “Fingers crossed another one happens soon so you can have a bed. Because otherwise, I’m gonna have to do something about that. In fact, ever since I saw that death trap you live in, I’ve been thinking I might have to do a lot of somethings about that. I mean, do you even have electricity to run the TV?”
“I do not. But sometimes ghosts show meThe Great British Baking Show.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure you should be watching that.”
“Me neither. Paul Hollywood is scary enough without his eyeballs melting.”
She exclaimed with delight. “That’sexactlyhow I feel about him.”
“Of course it is. I could have told you that.”
“Because we’re practically the same person?”
“At this point it’s undeniable.”
“Unquestionable.”
“Beautiful.”
That doesn’t fit the other two words we used, she wanted to tell him. But she couldn’t, because he’d said it all low and breathless-sounding. And he was standing very close all of a sudden. He was almost leaning, one hand high on the doorframe into the room they should have been going into, the other sort of hovering in the air between them. Like it wanted to do something.
But didn’t quite dare.
Go on, dare, she thought.
So naturally had to change the subject, instead.
“Anyway, we should probably—” she started to say. Then was grateful when he picked up the thread. He gave her about tenrightsand turned to the room beyond, which was fortunately just as distracting as the rest of the place.
More so, really.
In the hall it was just pictures and gas lamps. In this room there were wall-to-wall and ceiling-to-floor shelves, absolutely filled with a complete assortment of the weird and the wonderful. There were jars stuffed with eyes that still seemed alive, sat alongside perpetually frothing cauldrons. Stuffed animals of species she had no hope of recognizing, with eyes that seemed to watch you no matter where you stood.
She spotted vials that were only empty from one angle, plants bursting out of their pots to attack light fixtures, a row of tins with labels that bore phrases likevoid tea. Spice racks filled with substances other than spices; husks and veils of cobwebs and ropes of hair on hooks.
And all of it so fascinating and idea-charging that she could have spent a week examining everything. But just as she was about to ask Seth if she might possibly do so, she turned from the jar she was peering into, and saw his face.
His frozen, stricken face.
Then before she could form a single question, he took hold of her. He put his hands on both her arms, and started moving her in the direction of god only knew what.The nearest wall so he can fuck me against it, she thought, automatically, ridiculously.
Though of course it didn’tfeelridiculous.
It felt like the heat between them had been building again all this time, and now it was at some kind of delirious crescendo. She almost blurted out,oh yes please, thank god, and only managed not to because she grasped what he was urging her toward. Not the wall. Or the desk he had to maneuver her around.
No—it was the big wardrobe behind the desk.
The one that did not seem very big at all once he’d stuffed her inside, and followed her in.
In fact, the whole scenario sort of felt like a reverse Narnia. The enormous, exciting, fantastical world was out there. Whereasthiswas just a cupboard. A boring empty cupboard with about as much space inside as your average coffin. In fact, it was so small he had to sort of lift and position her over one of his bent legs, just to be able to close the door.
