“It has nothing to do with fragility.”
“Then do it. Do it. Come on, do it to me—”
He broke before she’d finished her sentence, hard enough that it almost hurt. But even almost hurting wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough, with him. He was over her, hands still tight in her top and body so close she could feel him breathing, and all she wanted to do was laugh. It bubbled up through her, so full of relief and joy that she couldn’t stop herself. She didn’twantto stop herself. It was like breathing again after months of holding it in. All that mattered in that moment was feeling it.
But feeling it was what made her cross the line.
She didn’t think, she didn’t consider consequences.
Suddenly, her hand was on his face, his lovely face.
And the second it was, that was it. He jumped away as if she’d stabbed him. He practically flung himself off her, fast enough that she didn’t even get chance to sit up.
By the time she did, he was already out the door.
Chapter Eight
Some part of her hoped it would be like last time. That he would show up in spite of everything, and just act like none of it had bothered him at all. He was fine with her demanding he throw her around. He didn’t care if she got all weirdly happy about it. And what did it matter if she caressed his face like some moony idiot?
It was all just water off his forcefield.
Or so she told herself.
Then she got to the studio, and that whole house of cards crumbled. He wasn’t there, waiting for her to walk through the door. And he didn’t turn up ten minutes later, with his hands casually slung in his pockets and his face as carefully neutral as ever. He was gone—and probably not just in terms of this one meet up. Other people cut out on her, and she could just call them. Explain, rearrange, ask for forgiveness.
But that couldn’t happen with him.
She didn’t have his number.She’d never dared to ask, and he’d never offered. Ofcoursehe hadn’t. It had taken him fuck knew how long just to tell her his name—never mind his contact details. Chances were, he didn’t evenhavecontact details to give. She couldn’t imagine him with an iPhone, texting shit at friends and taking grinning selfies to post on Instagram.
He seemed more the type to find the only pay phone left on planet earth.
If she heard from him again, the sound of deposited quarters would be in the background.
And even then, he’d only be calling to tell her goodbye.
I can’t deal with this weirdness, she imagined him saying, and suddenly her eyes were stinging. She had to look up at the ceiling just to stop herself from doing something dumb—like crying over a guy she barely knew. He hadn’t even told her where he worked or what his favorite color was or how he liked his eggs cooked. The only reason she knew for sure that he was possibly Latino was down to his last name.
So really what was she upset about?
Nothing, her mind told her,nothing.
And then she got outside and saw his car.
She sawhimand knew her mind was a liar.
It was obvious immediately—and not just because of the relief. There was also her reaction. Her big, ridiculous reaction. She practically ran across the street, and when she got to the passenger side door she didn’t hesitate. She yanked it open, without even thinking about asking permission.
Though, once she was inside she wished she had.
For just a split second, he was a different person. His whole body tensed, as if priming himself for a fight. That dark gaze of his flattened out; his mouth thinned down to nothing. She honestly thought he was about to punch her—or at the very least throw her out of the car.
Then he seemed to register it was her, and everything shifted as quickly as it had appeared. In fact, it shifted so much, she wondered how she’d ever found him expressionless. Clearly, he gave her far more than she’d ever realized. She got that light in his eyes, small but so much sweeter than the blank nothing he apparently reserved for intrusive strangers. And that curl to the corner of his mouth—not quite a smile, she had once thought.Now, she knew it was practically a grin, for him.
He gave her grins, and she’d repaid him with handsy bullshit.
Really, it was no surprise when an apology abruptly burst out of her.
Though he looked pretty startled by it, anyway.In fact, he looked like she’d just declared herself the Queen of France.One of his eyebrows actually flickered, like he wanted to raise it. His teeth sort of touched his bottom lip and pulled it in a little, in a way she wanted to label confusion.
