“So stay here and continue with the search the best way you can.”
I wrench my head from his gentle grip. “No. I have to go.” We both have our demons, and he knows better than anyone how I like to exorcise mine.
“So once again, I’m left to babysit the child?” he grumbles.“It’s not enough that I’m your butler, now I’m a glorified babysitter too?”
He drops into the chair with a sigh, cursing in French under his breath.
“She’s not a child,” I snap before walking into my armory room to select some weapons for my trip.
Pierre hurries after me. “You have had sex with her, haven’t you?” he scoffs in amusement. “That is why you are running away.”
I hate that he knows me so well. “I didn’t have sex with her,” I growl through gritted teeth.
“Then what? Something happened? Because you only got home last night, and I don’t need my sight to be able to see the tension between the two of you, Lincoln.”
I ignore him and select a set of titanium knuckle-dusters from a rack.
“Lincoln!”
“Something happened, okay!” I snarl. “I touched her but we didn’t have sex.”
He frowns. “So?”
“So what? You fucking know, Pierre.”
“Vie demerde!” He slaps his forehead and storms back out into the control room.
My stupidity makes me follow him. “What does that mean?”
“Fuck my life,” he replies deadpan.
I growl. “I know what your French curses mean, Pierre. Why are you saying it?”
“Because you are exhausting,monami. You constantly beat yourself up over something you have no control over. And you refuse to allow yourself any kind of happiness because you are sure you do not deserve it. If you and the girl like each other, which is blatantly obvious to even a blind man!” He waves his hand in front of his eyes. “Then what is the problem?”
“She’s—” I don’t even finish the sentence. He knows who she is.
“You have not been a part of her life since she was a small child. She is a woman now, and not the little girl you once knew.”
“I fuckingboughther, Pierre.”
“Oui!” He nods. “But you did so to save her from a life of pain and degradation. She is more free here than she’s likely ever been in her life. And she is falling in love with you.”
I grind my jaw. “If that’s true, then she’s falling in love with an illusion.”
He shakes his head. “Imbécile!”
“I’m trying to do the right thing,” I bark. How can he not fucking see that?
“By running away when things get too uncomfortable for you to handle? But it is okay,non? Because Pierre is here to pick up the pieces... to babysit... to buttle...” He sinks back in his chair again and drops his head into his hands.
I’ve been too blinded to my own misery to see how difficult it might have been for him to have her here, reminding him of all he lost. His daughter, Francesca, would be twenty-eight now. Not that much older than Imogen. He should have watched her graduate college, maybe be preparing to walk her down the aisle, or bouncing some grandbabies on his knee. Instead he’s stuck here in this place with me, and now he’s guiding Imogen through this whole fucked-up mess in the best way he knows how. While he has always been fully on board with my mission against the Brotherhood, he never agreed to do any of that other stuff.
I perch on the desk beside him and place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’re not my butler, a babysitter, or my servant, Pierre. I have never asked you to be any of those things.”
“How else would I keep myself from going crazy?” he mutters.
“You are my friend though, and I’m sorry if her being here brings up any bad memories for you.”
