“I already grow vegetables.” He jerks his head to a few raised beds which also appear to be overgrown.
“I could make a little more room? Now that I’m here and there’s an extra mouth to feed?”
“There is no need, mademoiselle. You do not need to work to earn your keep.”
“It wouldn’t be work. I’d enjoy it.”
He hums, seeming distracted today. It seems there’s something on his mind and I’m worried it’s something to do with me. Have I been too overt in my mooning over his boss? Maybe it’s the inscription written in the book in my hands that makes me feel bold enough to ask. “Do you wish I weren’t here, Pierre?”
He smacks his lips together and makes a sighing noise. “Ah, I will admit, I would rather you were not here, mademoiselle.”
That hurts more than I thought it would, or at least more than I should have ever allowed it to. But I thought Pierre genuinely cared for me, and to find out he would rather I weren’there makes my heart break a little. Or perhaps I’m still reeling from being so easily dismissed by Lincoln. Either way, I’m hurt and I blink back tears and scrub at the few that I allow to fall with the sleeve of my sweater.
“That does not mean I do not enjoy your company,” he adds.
I don’t need sympathy though, not from him or Lincoln. I tip my chin and roll back my shoulders. “You don’t have to say that, Pierre. I’m used to being places I’m not wanted.”
He snorts a laugh. “Oh! Not wanted? If you were not wanted, then you would not be here.Non?”
Perhaps there’s a ring of truth to that. “Butyoudon’t want me here?”
“That I would rather you were not here does not mean the same thing as not wanting you here,monchou. Per’aps, I simply believe you would be better off elsewhere.”
I disagree. Especially when I think about the places I could have ended up instead. I remember all too well the vile catcalls and disgusting comments made by the other men at the auction, and the reason all fifty women before me were paraded around like objects, to be used and abused. And so I feel incredibly lucky to be here in this house with Pierre, and even Lincoln, who despite his mask, his reputation, and his apparent apathy toward me at times, has shown me nothing but kindness.
Why does a man like that even go to an auction? It doesn’t fit the Lincoln I’ve come to know at all. And as guarded as he is, I’ve seen enough between the cracks of his facade to recognize his true nature, and that’s not a man who buys women for sport. So why does a man like him pay ten million dollars for a girl like me?
“Why does Mr. Knight want me here?”
Pierre shakes his head. “You will have to ask him that,monchou.”
Perhaps I would if he weren’t so closed off. Or if he didn’twalk away or dismiss me every single time I get close to him, physically or otherwise. “What doesmonchoumean?”
His lips twitch in a smile. “Little cabbage.”
I let out an unexpected burst of laughter and it feels so good. I can’t remember the last time I laughed out loud. “Cabbage? It sounded so sweet but you actually just called me a cabbage?”
His smirk grows wider. “It is sweet. Where I am from, it is a term of affection.” He reaches out and pats my forearm. “You are very much welcome here,monchou. But I wish for you that you were somewhere living a life full of love and happiness.”
A life full of love and happiness hasn’t ever been a goal for a girl like me. Survival has always been my primary objective. And freedom my ultimate prize, for then I may have a chance at some peace at least. And freedom means leaving this place.
Pierre pats my hand and I feel an overwhelming rush of affection for him.
Love and happiness? I might not have much experience in those things, but I’m sure I’ve never experienced them in as much abundance as I do right here in this house. Do I give up my dream of freedom for the promise of the former? It’s not the most terrifying prospect in the world to me, especially not given what I imagined my future would be just a few short months ago. “Perhaps I could live that kind of life here?”
He simply smiles and says, “Per’aps.”
Chapter 18
Lincoln
I watched her with Pierre yesterday, and saw for myself how much more at ease she appears to be with him than me. Then I witnessed my old friend smile like I haven’t seen him do for many years. But it was her laughter that almost broke me. It was the most beautiful thing I think I’ve ever heard.
She was grateful for the book, of course, and she clutched it to her chest like it was the only thing tethering her to this earth. And for a moment, I thought she might see me differently... and then she called me sir. She’s still behaving as she believes I expect her to—as she was programmed to.
Will she ever laugh so freely around me as she does with Pierre? I’m not sure she’ll ever be able to look at me as anything other than the monster who bought her, and that shouldn’t matter to me. I paid those sick fucks ten million dollars simply to keep her safe. That was my only motive. Not to build some kind of relationship with her.
Whatever my intentions were, or are, it’s clear she feels able to let her guard down around Pierre in a way she can’t around me. And I want her to be her true self. I want her to find out who she is and become the incredible woman she was born to be, not the obedient pet she was trained to be. And if she can’tdo that around me, then maybe the best thing I can do for her is to stay away as much as possible.
