The question goes out to the room, but Mom’s the only one with information. “He was in the city when I called, but he’s coming. He’ll be here.”
Zola nods and takes a deep breath. “Then I’m good.”
When Dr. Nazim excuses herself, I ask Zola a question I’m not sure I’m allowed to ask.
“Jason’s coming?”
“It’s his son too.”
“Even after you’ve seen who he really is? What he’s capable of? You’re just gonna welcome him back in here?”
“I let you come, didn’t I?”
“Zo, I’m serious. You’ve done everything on your own, and now he gets to show up and play Father of the Year?”
Zola takes a deep breath and I can’t tell if it’s a response to my inquiry or another contraction.
“First of all, I haven’t been alone.” She reaches out for my hand. “And as far as Jason goes, he’s family. He’s always gonna be family. Making a mistake—”
Zola changes her wording when she sees the look on my face.
“Okay, making a lot of really bad decisions, back-to-back-to-back, doesn’t change his role in all this. And right now, I don’t want to waste energy being mad at anybody. Least of all him. He’s the father of my child, and in that way, I’m always gonna have love for him.”
“All right,” I say as soon as she finishes. “I get it.”
“You do?” Zola stops bouncing and tilts her head suspiciously. “Damn, what kinda drugs did they shoot me up with?”
“Shut up,” I say, gently hip-checking her shoulder. “You’re right. I can’t forgive him, but for your sake I can play nice. I don’t want to waste any more energy being mad either.”
She shakes her head in disbelief. “Who knew becoming an auntie would make you so soft?”
“Oh my god. You guys, I’m gonna be somebody’s auntie.”
From there, things move quickly. Dr. Nazim comes back in with the delivery nurses, and Mom and I take our places beside Zola. When she’s in pain, she looks at Mom to help her through, but any time she gets scared, Zola looks right at me. Right into my eyes, and I tell her in that silent sister way:I’m right here with you and always will be.
Just before she starts pushing, the door opens and a nurse ushers Jason inside. Even though we said it wouldn’t be, for the quickest moment it’s awkward that he’s here with us.
He hangs back by the door, looking unsure of his place, until Zola and I squeeze each other’s hands one last time before releasing our grip. I step back when she reaches out for him, relinquishing my spot next to my big sister. It doesn’t matter that he’s the one holding her hand now, she knows I’m here. Always.
So many things are happening all at once, and when Dr. Nazim calls for one last push, I worry Zola might not have anything left. But then a first cry cuts through the chaos, and the whole world is forever changed. With his single breath and that single cry, this pointy-headed little baby leaves us all forever changed too.
A mother, a father, a grandma, an auntie. He did that.
Love did that.
—
“Are they always this cute?” I ask Zola when it’s my turn to hold baby Zane.
Jason and Mom excused themselves to call everyone with the good news, so it’s just the two of us—the three of us.
Zola’s smile is sunshine. I’ve never seen her this happy or this in love.
“I don’t think so,” she says, reaching for the tiny toes that have just escaped their swaddle. “I think I got a really good one.”
“Yeah,” I tell her. “I think so.”
“Hey,” she says, waiting until I meet her eyes. “I’m really sorry about what I said earlier. That wasn’t fair. You’re not like Dad.”
