10
ERIC
By the time we make it to Clyde’s place, Max has fallen sound asleep in my arms. When Alfredo stops the car, he exits then enters on the opposite side of me. “Let me take him, Eric.”
I’m reluctant to hand him over. I swore to myself I would protect him and his mother, and I failed. What if I let him go now and fail again? I don’t even like children, but I feel I owe him the world. It’s my fault he was even tangled up in this wicked web in the first place.
“Eric?” Alfredo speaks again, pulling my eyes to him. “Let me take him. You have something to handle.” He nods toward the front door.
I know he’s right, but that doesn’t change my hesitation. I feel I’m holding the whole world in my hands—my whole future—and I don’t know if I can let it go. For once, I think I understand a parent’s love. I don’t think I love this kid, but I know I would kill for him.
Iamgoing to kill for him.
“Don’t let anything happen to him, Alfredo.” I mumble as I pass his limp body over the seat.
He nods and nestles Max into his chest before laying him on the leather seat and patting his back to keep him asleep. “I won’t. I promise.”
I open the door and step out as he does the same. “That’s a promise you don’t want to break. Do you understand what I’m saying?” I ask over the roof of the SUV, alluding to the fact I have no qualms of killing him, too, if he hurts Max.
“I understand.”
Another nod and I’m off, moving my gun from the back of my pants to by my hip, so it’s easier to grab. When I make it to the door, I don’t pause. I walk straight inside like I would any other typical day, so hopefully, he doesn’t suspect anything bad.
As I walk down the hall, my shoes tap against the floor, letting him know I’m coming. Entering the living room, I see him positioned on the couch with his wife. His arm is slung over her shoulder like it is every time I see him with her, and their twins are playing on the floor.
He smiles and cocks his head to the side. “Did you get the clean up at the warehouse settled?”
I inhale a long breath through my nose, silently telling myself to keep my cool. “I did.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Anything else to report?”
By the way, his knee bounces and his teeth grind, I know he’s waiting to see if I’ll bring up Lily.
“I went to South End.” I throw it out and wait so I can gauge his reaction.
I’m expecting him to squirm more or stand to his feet. Something to show he knows he fucked up, but instead, he smiles.
He fucking smiles.
“Ah. Got a look at my handy work?” His tongue runs along his teeth.
It hits me that all the things I noticed him doing weren’t from nerves. It was him being excited. Hewantsto talk about this shit. Hewantsto seemesquirm.
“Handy work? Is that what you call it? Didn’t seem too original to me.” I shrug. “Putting a bullet between a bitches eyes seems kind of cowardice if you ask me.”
“Cowardice?” He laughs. “Are you saying that thick, cold, black muscle in your chest actually has feelings now— has remorse?”
See, right at this very second, I have the upper hand. He doesn’t think I’ll do shit, but he’s so wrong. If he paid attention in history class, he would know all good commanders face soldiers turning on them in some fashion. It’s how shit works unless you condition them perfectly, which he hasn’t.
The only thing he’s taught me is to trust no one. An important lesson he should have kept for himself.
“I have nothing to be remorseful for.” I deadpan.
He nods. “Well, look at it this way, Eric. With her out of the picture you can go back to doing what you were built for.”
