My friend grinned and met my gaze, but I quickly looked away. I couldn’t handle the concern and pity I knew I’d find there. The way I’d avoided Ivy, Summer, and Olive’s pointed stares all evening should win me an Olympic medal.
At first when the guys didn’t show, I’d been concerned that something had happened to them, but as the minutes ticked by, the truth became clear: None of them wanted to spend time with me.
How could I have been so stupid? My twenty-ninth year was supposed to be about me and my personal growth, but so far I’d spent it obsessing over men. I’d deluded myself into thinking my horoscopes were telling me to say yes to romance, and now I was left with a broken heart and only myself to blame.
Finally, mercifully, the event came to a close. All I wanted was to bury myself in my nest and cry myself to sleep. Was that too much to ask? Yes, apparently it was because my friends were packing up their things at sloth speed, and Olive and Ivy gestured for their guys to wait outside.
“Thanks for coming,” I said brightly, busying myself with putting away the leftover food. “I think people had fun.”
“Lucy.” Olive’s gentle tone brought tears to my eyes, which just made me irritated. My mental breakdown wasn’t scheduled to start for another ten minutes.
“Whew, am I tired. I think I’ll leave cleaning up for tomorrow.” I silently willed my friends to move to the door.It’s right there. Go. Go. Go.
“Are you okay?” Olive took a hesitant step toward me.
My lips were frozen in an unnatural smile. “Me? I’m totally fine.”
“Did they text or anything?” Ivy asked.
I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. I knew my friends wouldn’t judge me, but standing here, all pathetic and rejected, when Ivy and Olive were packed up and happy? I died a little on the inside.
“What fucking assholes,” Summer snapped. “We will get our revenge.”
“Yes, revenge.” Olive nodded sagely. “We’ll recruit Felix to help.”
Ivy, our peacemaking rule-follower, looked briefly conflicted, but when she caught my gaze, she nodded. “No one hurts our Lucy.”
I swallowed the hard lump in my throat as my friends all squished me into a group hug.
“Breakfast at the diner tomorrow,” Summer said, her tone leaving no room for argument. “For plotting and pancakes.”
“I bet we can convince Char to make those strawberry cheesecake ones,” Ivy said, clearly trying to make me feel better.
It was working. I loved those pancakes.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you all in the morning.” My smile was wobbly as we hugged one more time.
A few minutes later, I was in my nest and ready for my breakdown, but instead of crying, I found myself going on my phone and looking up fashion internships. Most of the application deadlines had already passed for summer and fall internships, but several had waitlist forms that I filled out just for the heck of it.
My heart was a pained, aching lump in my chest at the thought of leaving. Starlight Grove was my home—the holder of my childhood memories and the place I’d hoped to grow old. But I refused to wallow my life away.
And I was done begging people to love me.
35
Leo
By the time I gotback to Starlight Grove, it was after ten and Lucy’s store was dark.
My heart pounded as I got out of the car and peered through her shop window. Nothing.
I knocked on the door but was unsurprised when no one came. Even if Lucy could hear me from upstairs, why would she answer? She hadn’t answered any of my calls on my drive over.
I pressed her contact name again, my heart sinking with every ring.
My forehead thudded against her door.
I had messed up over and over again with Lucy, but no more. She had no reason to forgive me, no reason to give me yetanotherchance, but I wouldn’t give up this time. She might decide she didn’t want to be with me anymore, but it wouldn’t be for my lack of trying.
