I squinted at the dark alley to make sure Lucy wasn’t outside before grabbing my cane and getting out of the car. Pain shot through my knee like lightning, making my forehead break out in a sweat as I hobbled to the door and unlocked it. My heart sank as I stared at the staircase leading up to my apartment above the shop.
I should have used my cane tonight. Shouldn’t have jumped over a bonfire with Lucy. Except…it was hard to regret when the sound of her laughter and the brightness in her eyes played through my head like the best movie I’d ever seen.
I limped into my shop instead of tackling the stairs to my apartment. I’d told myself I wouldn’t use the air mattress in the storage room again, but here I fucking was.
I crashed down onto the bed and slipped a pillow under my knee. For a few moments this evening, I could pretend my life was good—no cane, one of my favorite celebrations of the year, and the beautifulgirl I was obsessed with holding my hand. Now, as I laid back on a shitty air mattress, fully clothed because I was in too much pain to undress, reality came crashing back, dark and cold.
“Okay, that’s it. We’restopping for the day.” Cassie, my physical therapist, stepped back from the table, arms crossed.
“I can do more.” My words slipped out through clenched teeth.
“No, you can’t. Not without risking injury.”
When I realized she wouldn’t budge, I relented and pushed myself to a seated position.
“What’s the plan here, Leo? The way you’re going—refusing to use your cane, pushing yourself too hard—is going to end up with you in even more severe pain and using a wheelchair.”
Irritation rose in me, sharp and defensive. “I told you when I started physical therapy that my goal was to walk without my cane by the start of spring, and now you’re acting like I should just give up.”
Cassie sat down on her rolling stool with a soft sigh. “There absolutely is a place for optimism in health care, and I don’t want to take that away from you. But there’s also a place for accepting the way things are. Your inability to accept your injury is going to make things worse in the long run.”
I stared out the window, trying to breathe through my tangled web of emotions. A flicker of brown and white caught my eye. Felix, the town cat, smooshed his face against the glass, leaving a smudge in his wake. His eyes were locked on me. I gave him a little wave.
Felix had been the first Starlight Grove resident I met. When I’d entered my shop after getting the keys, I had unlocked the door to find him sitting on top of the checkout desk like he’d been waiting for me. I’d asked around town if anyone was missing a cat, but everyone was completely unconcerned. Apparently Felix, who was also inexplicably the mayor in a turn of events I still couldn’t wrap my mind around, chose who he wanted to spend the night with, and everyonein town just accommodated him. After spending several days searching for the gaps or holes in my new building that were allowing the cat to enter my locked store and finding nothing, I’d given up. I’d gotten used to Felix randomly showing up, taste-testing new shipments of roses, and staring judgmentally at any man who came in and didn’t choose the largest size bouquet to purchase.
I was pretty sure he’d doubled my profits.
With a flick of his tail, he marched away from the clinic.
Cassie cleared her throat and I reluctantly turned back to our conversation.
“Do you get where I’m coming from, Leo? I hope you know I’m on your side. I want you to succeed, but I’m worried about you.”
I gave her a jerky nod and swallowed my anger. None of this was her fault. “Do you—” I took a breath. “Are you saying you don’t think I’ll get to the point where I can ditch the cane?”
Now it was her turn to gaze out the window with a deep sigh. I grimaced. Not a great sign.
“I think osteoarthritis of the knee is a chronic condition without a cure, and that the goal right now is to reduce your pain, increase your quality of life, and make it so you can hold off on having a knee replacement,” she started. “I can’t predict the future, but in my experience, you’ll likely need a combination of meds, PT, and mobility aids for the rest of your life. But that doesn’t mean your life is over or that you’re doomed to be in this much pain. You can live a good life, Leo.”
This wasn’t new information. It was what my doctor had told me, what all the online forums said. But I’d been so determined to defeat the odds that I hadn’t let myself imagine the alternative.
My cane leaned against the table, and I had the urge to set it on fire. My body had already cost me so much—my job in coastal rescue, my morning runs on the beach, and now my chance at landing the most incredible girl in the world.
“Just think about what I said, okay?” Cassie said softly.
I nodded, because what else could I do? I was tempted to ask herif she thought there was any chance that an omega could be interested in me with my cane. I’d asked Parisa what she thought, but she’d just rolled her eyes and said, “No one gives a shit about your cane besides you.” Cassie might have a more objective omega perspective, but it didn’t seem like an appropriate question.
She scheduled my next steroid injection while I wrapped a brace around my knee. I was so stuck in my head on my short walk home I forgot to turn down the alleyway behind my store. Instead, I continued down Main Street, stopping short when I spotted Lucy outside her shop door. Before I could drop and roll out of her line of sight, she glanced over.
“Hey!” A bright smile spread across her face. Her hair was in two braids and she was wearing light blue velvet pants and a matching top. I bet she’d feel so soft in my arms.
“Don’t judge my wreath,” she continued, and I realized she was adjusting a new floral wreath on her door. “It’s a little wonky, and I probably should have just bought one from you, but I couldn’t sleep last night and got sucked into watching about a million tutorials on DIY wreaths, and here we are.”
A crease formed between my eyebrows. The wreath looked perfect, like everything Lucy did. She had a bad habit of tearing herself down.
Her eyes flickered to my cane, and I braced myself for her inevitable comments and the pity in her gaze. I’d successfully hidden it from her formonths. Now all that effort was down the drain.
“And then I still couldn’t sleep and I was hungry, so I watched a bunch of recipe videos on how to make the best pancakes. Have you had breakfast yet?”
