Liam and Gray sat across the room from each other, locked in some sort of competition for who could scowl the hardest, which they were both winning. My chest felt tight as I scented the stress in the room.
Bear was on the opposite end of the same couch as Liam, his legs spread wide as he leaned back against the cushion. He held his arm out to me. “Hey, baby.” He wore jeans and nothing else, and I couldn’t help but admire his bare chest as I sat down nextto him, curling into his side. “Someone stole all my shirts,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
Liam scooted closer, grasping my hand and entwining his fingers with mine. “How’re you feeling, sweetheart?”
“Good,” I said, savoring the feel of his skin against mine.
“Are you just saying that?” he asked, cocking a brow.
I squirmed under his firm gaze. “No, I really am feeling good. A lot better than yesterday, for sure.” I still had some lingering cramps and my neck was tight, but most of me was relaxed andverysatisfied.
He nodded and squeezed my hand, and then silence descended over the room again. Our only soundtrack was that of a brewing pot of coffee. I looked questioningly at Henry and he shrugged his shoulders, eyes flitting between the three alphas. This was so fucking awkward.
I took a deep breath. “So… what did I miss?”
Henry jumped in when none of the alphas spoke. “Everyone was just filling me in on what’s happened the past few weeks.” His expression turned sad. “I’m so sorry you’ve been through all that, darling.”
A lump formed in my throat at his gentle words. I wanted to crawl into his lap. Actually, what I really wanted was to be in all of their laps at the same time. I’d experienced a full day of being touched and pleasured after years of physical neglect, and now I craved more.
“Liam said he saw you at the hospital,” Bear said.
“It seemshebelieves you now?” Liam snarled, his eyes fixed on Gray. My eyes widened in surprise at the aggression rolling off the gentle teddy bear alpha.
“I know I made a mistake. A huge mistake.” Gray’s voice was hoarse as he ran his hand over his face.
“Gray and I talked it through,” I said softly. I moved to go to him, hating the haunted look in his eyes, but Bear’s arm tightened around me.
“I don’t understand why he’s even here. Hehurtyou,” Liam said.
“I told them,” Gray said. “About what your uncles told me.” I met his gaze, and he gave me a little shake of the head that I understood to mean he hadn’t told them the rest of it.
I shifted Bear’s arm off me and scooted to the middle of the couch so I wasn’t touching him or Liam. “I have something I need to tell you all.” My heart pounded in my chest.
I wished I could postpone this moment so I could pretend they were mine for a while longer, but they deserved to know everything. I fixed my eyes firmly on the hideous coffee table. It was a mass of twisted metal supporting a sheet of glass, cold and harsh. All I could think of was how often you’d have to clean fingerprints off of it.
“For years, I’ve been having weird health issues,” I started, detaching myself from my body, floating into that disconnected space where I didn’t feel likeme. I heard my voice as if someone else was speaking, my voice monotone and robotic. “I get headaches and shooting pain in my neck. Sometimes, I get weak or dizzy, and I have a lot of nausea. Some days I’m okay, but other times I can barely get out of bed. My uncles took me to several doctors throughout the years, but they never believed me, and then I was forced to attend the Designation Academy. The DA’s whole plan was to match us with packs that met their approval, but we had to be trained and tested to make sure we were acceptable to alphas.”
Liam’s hand made its way back to mine, and I realized I was trembling. The heat of his skin brought me back to my body, and the aching pain I’d been trying to keep at bay intensified.
“They kept pulling me into medical exams, and I didn’t understand why. Finally, after several months, they told me I was infertile. Since fertility is a requirement for joining a pack, I was sent home and marked as ineligible to ever bond anyone. I was hoping the new laws would change that, but they didn’t.”
I braved a brief glance at Henry, who clenched his jaw.
“The other night, I got really upset. I was in pain and lonely, and I didn’t want to feel anything anymore. So I took a bunch of sleeping pills I found in my aunt’s medicine cabinet.”
Bear made a choked sound.
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I just… I don’t know. I was being stupid. Obviously, I’m fine. I just threw everything up in the middle of the night. But Gray found out what I’d done, and that’s when he came over and found me in heat.”
“When did you… When was this?” Bear asked through gritted teeth.
“The night before I saw you at the club,” I said, my voice close to a whisper. My eyes burned with unshed tears as I forced out the rest. “I’m so sorry I’ve led you all on. I was living out a fantasy where we could be together, but I shouldn’t have done it. It wasn’t fair to you.”
Hot tears dripped down my cheek and I quickly wiped them away. I wasn’t trying to garner their sympathy when I was the one who was to blame for all of this. I’d let myself get too attached when I should have kept my distance, and now their hopes might be up that we could be a pack.
“I’ll always be grateful for the time we spent together. And again, I’m sorry for not being more upfront about everything.”
The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I shifted in my spot. Should I just get up and leave?
