“Just to sleep,” Gray said, placing a protective hand on my back. “You need your rest.”
“Fine,” I said.
Gray’s fingers caressed my bare skin and I leaned back into him, grinning when his hard cock pressed against my ass.
“Just to sleep?” I teased.
Henry snorted and Gray cleared his throat. “Can’t fucking blame me when you’re standing there looking so gorgeous. Why don’t you have clothes on? It’s cold.”
Liam appeared at my side with one of his sweatshirts, pulling it over me before bundling me into his arms.
“Bedtime,” he grunted.
I pressed my face into his neck, hiding my smile at the fact that he, too, was hard.
Bear had worn me out and I wasn’t up for anything else, but knowing that my guys still desired me, that their perception of me hadn’t changed after everything that’d happened, filled me with relief.
The specter of tomorrow hung over my head as we gathered in the nest. What if I had an infusion reaction again? What if I went through all of this for nothing? It wasn’t worth speaking my fears out loud, so I buried myself deeper in the nest and clung to my guys until sleep took me.
88
WESTIN
My chemo nurse today was named Jerry. He was an older beta who walked with a limp after breaking his femur last year. His steady, calm presence quickly wiped away my unease at being treated by a man. He couldn’t have been further from Dr. Bishop as he chatted with me about the golf trips he planned to take once he completed physical therapy.
He was unbothered by the way my guys hovered over me, showing endless patience with the way Liam snapped at him to double-check his work, and how Gray practically growled whenever he got close to me. Through it all, he kept up a steady stream of conversation, asking me about my hobbies and what I thought about Sol. He said he was sure I was an amazing roller skater.
He’d done a great job distracting me, but my anxiety came back full force when he brought in the bag of bright red chemo.
“You’re alright,” he said as he hung the bag on my IV pole.
“I’m just really nervous. I had a bad reaction last time.” Nervous was an understatement. I was fighting the urge to run out of the room.
“I understand, but we’ll get through this together. We’re not going to have any problems today, I can feel it.” He was so calm and sure of himself Ialmostbelieved him, but I couldn’t fully erase my skepticism.
He called for a check to confirm the chemo and infusion rate. He had confirmed that we would start at a very slow rate and increase the speed every ten minutes to make sure I didn’t have another reaction.
“Here we go,” Jerry said, programming the machine to start. “And I’ll stay right here to make sure you’re okay, but you will be.”
I grabbed Gray’s hand. I didn’t want to watch the chemo creeping through the IV, but I couldn’t look away.
Finally, the chemo hit my bloodstream. The seconds ticked by.
“How’re you feeling, sweetheart?” Liam asked.
“It’s better than last time.”
The room was quiet, and it felt like everyone was just holding their breaths.
I kept breathing, but an uncomfortable tightness was building in my chest. I wasn’t sure if it was anxiety or if I was having another reaction.
“My chest is a little tight,” I said softly when it didn’t go away.
“Fuck,” Bear said, his eyes wide with panic.
“Do something,” Liam snapped at Jerry.
“Should I hit the button?” Henry asked, his voice loud and panicked.
