“Is your heart rate typically on the slow side?” the same nurse with French braids asked.
“I don’t think so?” I glanced at the machine monitoring my vitals and saw my blood pressure and heart rate were low. “But I really don’t feel good.”
“What’s wrong, hun?” the nurse asked.
“I just feel dizzy and weird and I don’t like it.”
“It might be from the chemo or the IV Benadryl we gave you to stop the reaction. Your vitals are perking up, though, and your rash is clearing up.”
I looked down and my arm was its normal color again.
“Alright, I think we can head out and leave you in Wendy’s capable hands,” the French braid nurse said. “Feel better, Westin.”
“Thank you,” Henry said as the nurses filed out of the room. “They got in here so fast,” he added, squeezing my leg. “It was amazing.”
“Reactions are pretty common with this chemo, so we have our system down,” Wendy said. “You’re looking pale, and you’ll probably feel out of it for a while. We’re going to continue monitoring.”
“What happens with chemo now?” I asked.
“We called down to Dr. Ash and she said we don’t have enough time to try chemo again today, so we’ll have to reschedule,” Wendy said.
My heart clenched. After all the anxiety and build-up, I got barely a drop of chemo in my system. “Will I have a reaction again?”
“It’s very rare to have an infusion reaction the second time. We can do the infusion at a slower rate and do more pre-meds,” Wendy said. She moved around the side of my bed to take another set of vitals. “Everything looks good. I’m going to check on my other patients. Press the call button if you need anything.”
The moment she walked out of the room, my guys moved so they were surrounding me.
“Shit, that was scary,” Bear said, gripping my hand.
“Guess I’m just microdosing chemo,” I said weakly.
Bear squeezed my hand, but nobody laughed. I closed my eyes, trying to process everything that had happened, but my brain felt sluggish. Waking up and having no idea where I was had been one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.
“How’re you feeling now?” Gray squeezed my leg from his spot next to Liam.
I just shrugged. I had no idea how to answer him. My body was numb and frozen in the bed. I didn’t want it to be mine anymore.
“Please talk to us, love,” Gray said, sounding more desperate.
“I don’t know what to say. I don’t feel good.” My lip trembled and I blinked to stop myself from crying.
Liam cleared his throat. “Can you sit up for a moment, sweetheart?”
I nodded and slowly moved to a seated position with my guys’ help.
“Can you scoot her forward so I can get behind her?” Liam asked Gray.
Gray leaned down and put his arms around me, hugging me to his chest as he moved me forward on the bed. I clung to him, rubbing my nose against his neck to get his scent. The small mattress shifted as Liam got on behind me, pulling my back to his chest. He started purring, the vibrations breaking through some of my numbness. I sank back into his embrace and closed my eyes. My guys kept running their hands down my body, and soon I fell asleep.
I jolted awake sometime later when Wendy came back in the room. She eyed Liam and I thought she might tell him to move, but she just turned her gaze to me.
“How’s the dizziness? If you still don’t feel better in the next half hour or so, we might need to transfer you downstairs to the ER for observation.”
“I feel a lot better,” I said quickly. I still felt like shit, but I needed my guys and my nest. Spending the night in the ER sounded like torture.
She eyed me carefully and nodded. “As long as your vitals remain steady, you should be able to go home.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
