“What do you mean?”
“I know when you’re anxious and stressed. You’re not nearly as good at hiding it as you think.”
I blew a strand of hair out of my face. “I was before I met you. For years, no one knew anything real about me.”
“I know what that’s like,” he said.
I ran my hand down his bare chest, tracing his tattoos. I hadn’t mentioned what the Sol agent told me about him, and I hesitated to ask him about it.
“What is it?” Bear asked.
“Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier,” I started, unsure how to continue. “You know the Sol agent who pulled me aside? She was concerned about my safety because of your criminal record.”
Bear tensed and I wanted to kick myself for bringing it up.
“What did she say?”
“That you served time for a violent crime. A robbery.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked and he let out a long breath.
“I told her I don’t care. I know I’m safe with you,” I hurried to add.
“You’re sweet.” He kissed my forehead, running his hand down my back. “I’m ashamed of what I did, and I’m worried it will make you see me differently.”
“It won’t,” I said, propping myself up on his chest so I could see his face. “I know you. What you say won’t change that.”
He nodded, but his jaw was still tight. He wore a faraway expression as he twirled his fingers through my hair. “I had just turned nineteen. I’d been on the underground fighting circuit for four years at that point. At one of my last fights, I dislocated my knee. It hurt like hell, but I got patched up in the hospital and jumped back into fighting. I thought I was fine, but my knee was weak, and I started losing fights. Once word spread about my injury, my opponents used it to their advantage. I ended up dislocating it a second time. The doctors said I could lose my leg if it kept happening, so I stepped back from fights. It put me in a dark place since those fights were my entire life. I had no family, no real friends, and I was renting a room in an absolute shithole.”
“Where was your family?” I asked softly.
“My mom overdosed when I was young, and I was put into foster care. I never knew my dad. Asshole knocked up my mom and couldn’t get away from us quick enough. I bounced around from one foster family to another, but I wasn’t good enough for any of them.”
“Bear,” I breathed. “You don’t believe that, do you?”
He didn’t meet my eye.
“Bear,” I said sternly, sitting up and straddling his hips. “You were always good enough, and you’re good enough now.”
He burst out laughing, his chest shaking underneath me. I scowled. “What’s so funny?”
“You just sounded so fierce saying that. It was cute.”
I stuck my lip out in a pout and crossed my arms.
“Aww, don’t do that, baby.” In one swift motion, he pulled me back down to his chest and then rolled over so he was on top of me. A tender vulnerability entered his gaze. “You make me feel wanted.”
“You are,” I murmured, cupping his face with both hands. “What happened next?”
“Several local gangs in my neighborhood had tried for years to recruit me, but I’d always fended them off. But without fighting, I didn’t have a way to make money. I’d never worked a normal job, and everyone in town knew about my fighting history, so it’s not like they would hire me, anyway. I don’t even have a fucking high school diploma.”
I ran my fingers down his face, keeping my eyes fixed on his.
“I was so fucking lost. I didn’t know who I was anymore. One night, one of the gang leaders asked if I wanted to come with them to rob a gas station. He promised me a cut of whatever they got, and I was desperate. It was so fucking stupid.” His breath shuddered and he pressed his face into my neck, breathing in deeply like he was trying to catch my scent. I hated that I couldn’t soothe him with my scent, but I could stilldo something. A purr started in my chest, vibrating between us. Bear relaxed fully, his body heavy against mine.
“Thank you, baby,” he said. He rolled us so we were both on our sides, facing each other. I kept my hands on him, hoping my touch helped him as much as his helped me.
“You don’t have to tell me anymore if you don’t want to,” I whispered.
