His words made my chest squeeze and I blinked furiously to hold back my tears. Was he changing his mind about me? I knew it would happen eventually, but I wasn’t ready for it yet.
As if sensing the devastation rolling off of me in waves, he framed my face with both hands. “Iwantto fit here,” he said fiercely. “I wasn’t lying when I said the only time things feel right, thatIfeel right, is when I’m by your side.”
Something tugged at the back of my mind and I realized he’d said something similar to me during my heat.
“But?”
“Bear, Henry, and Liam… Well, you fit with them. They’re all clearly in love with you, and you all make sense together.” A small smile touched his lips. “I’m not needed here, and I wonder if you’d be better off if I left.”
Suddenly, it was like all the air had been sucked from the room. All the noise faded around me and a horrible gasping sound was all I could hear.
I realized the sound was coming from me.
“Westin, love, please breathe,” Gray said, clutching my face with desperation. He gathered me to his chest and a purr that sounded a little too wild to be soothing vibrated beneath me. “Just breathe, please.” His arms were so tight around me he was practically cutting off my air, but his hold soothed the tightness in my chest and I sucked in a shuddering breath.
“Fuck, fuck,” he said. “You can’t scare me like that. Fucking hell.” He wiped his thumbs down my cheeks and I realized I was crying.
“Please don’t leave,” I said. My throat was still tight and Gray’s touch was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
“I won’t.” His piercing eyes met mine. “I won’t, princess. Fuck.” He pressed his forehead to mine, his arms going back around me.
“Why would you say that?” I said, sniffling.
Gray was silent for several long seconds and my heart rate kicked up again.
“Shh.” He stroked his hand down my back soothingly. “You’re getting all tense again.”
“Then say something,” I snapped, causing my cheeks to heat. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Gray’s chest shook with a small burst of laughter. “No, you totally meant it like that. But how could you possibly think I would ever want to leave you? It would end me, love. But I can’t stand sticking around just for my sake if it’s not what you need.”
“But Idoneed you,” I said. It was hard to say it, to give him the ammunition to destroy me with just a few words. But then a warm realization settled deep inside me. I was no longer scared Gray wanted to destroy me. In fact, I knew he would do anything in his power to protect me and care for me.
His hand continued its soothing journey up and down my spine, and I wished my skin was bare and so was his.
“Henry is gentle,” Gray said. “I can see how good it is for you to be around him, especially when the rest of our alpha energy gets to be too much. Bear is fun. Fucking reckless, but he made you light up tonight while skating. And Liam…” He trailed off and I waited to see what he would say next. “Liam is protective. You’re safe around him. I’m the one who brings nothing to thepack. I’m an old, grumpy asshole who doesn’t deserve you, and I’m fucking terrified that I’m going to hurt you by staying.”
I pulled away from him enough so I could see his face. “What the actual fuck are you talking about?” I asked, anger coloring my tone. “Henry is calming for my omega to be around, but he’s also a posh worrywart. I’m pretty sure I would give him a heart attack every other day if it was just the two of us. Bear and I would probably end up in jail without someone else keeping us in check. Liam is sweet and protective, but he doesn’t know how to take care of himself. You’re this pack’s rock, Gray. You’re solid and reliable. You keep me safe without stifling me. You’re so bossy it makes it so I can’t possibly feel guilty for accepting help.”
My lip trembled and more tears streaked down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop the next words from spilling from my mouth, even though part of me was screaming that it was too honest, too vulnerable. “The idea of you not being here is like a part of my soul being ripped out. How do you not see that?”
He inhaled sharply and cupped my face with both hands. “I thought I couldn’t let myself fall in love with you because it would give you the power to destroy me. But now I realize I was an idiot. The only thing that could break me is seeing you hurt again. You’re the only one who can break me.”
My lips parted as I processed his words. Was he saying he loved me? I wanted to hear those words from his lips, wanted to speak them in return, but I held myself back.
“I don’t want to break you,” I finally said.
“I know, princess. I know.”
He squeezed me tight and then gathered me up in his arms, sitting us down on the bed. I straddled him, pressing myself against his chest.
“The way I feel about you… I never knew it could be like this,” he murmured.
“Like what?”
“Like it’s too much for my body to even hold.”
My heart clenched when I saw a single tear escape Gray’s eye, making a slow trail down his cheek. I leaned in and kissed it away, the saltiness of it lingering on my tongue.
