“As long as the device is inside her, any bonds will be… distorted, incomplete.”
She kept talking, but I couldn’t hear her words anymore. I was stuck, trapped once more in a body that had betrayed me. My vision of a future with my alphas, bonded and happy, vanished before my eyes.
ChapterFive
Josie
Burning hot water assaulted my skin as I curled up on the shower floor, my arms tightly wrapped around my knees. I had turned the temperature up as high as it could go, not caring that my skin was pink and stinging. All I cared about was feeling clean, but deep down, I knew nothing could rid me of the sensation of the cold metal table andtheirhands on my skin.
I’d been disoriented and panicked when I woke this morning, a nightmare I couldn’t quite remember clawing at the edges of my mind. Ben, Cam, and Theo spent hours cuddled up with me in bed, murmuring sweet words as I tried to shake the nightmare’s hold. Their touches were careful, as if they thought I would break.
With every touch, my shame grew into an uncomfortable tightness in my chest. When it became too much to handle, I told them I wanted to shower alone. They resisted at first, but I insisted, extracting myself from my nest and heading to the bathroom.
The moment the bathroom door clicked shut, it took everything in me to stop myself from running back into the bedroom and demanding that they hold me.
Stupid, needy omega. So weak you can’t even take a shower by yourself.
A small whimper escaped my lips, but I fisted my hands, steeled my limbs, and forced myself to walk to the shower. I needed to create distance to prepare for their inevitable rejection.
Their inner alphas were urging them to protect me right now, but soon they would come to their senses. They hadn’t signed up for a fucked-up omega they couldn’t even bond. They deserved better.
I curled tighter into myself, feeling painfully exposed in the large shower that was made to fit an entire pack. My omega whined at me to return to my nest and my alphas. I ignored her, imagining stuffing her into a small box, wrapping the box in chains, and throwing it into the depths of the ocean. She was the reason for my suffering. Being an omega was nothing but a curse.
Steam filled my lungs, and I gasped as I endured the onslaught of the scalding water. I scrubbed my skin raw with a washcloth, freezing when I brushed up against the soaking-wet bandage Theo had wrapped around my wound. I ripped it off, needing to face what they had done to me. I ran my finger over the fresh scab. This device was larger than the first, and I could feel its bump in my skin. I choked on a half scream, half sob, as I started clawing at it.
“Josie! What’s going on?” Cam’s panicked voice carried through the bathroom door.
I opened my mouth to respond, but a strangled sob was all that came out.
“That’s it, I’m coming in,” he growled. I braced myself for a loud crash, expecting Cam to kick down the door, but he just turned the handle and eased it open.
The second his eyes landed on me, I burst into tears.
“Oh, baby girl.” He sounded broken.
Cam opened the glass shower door and swore as he felt the water, immediately turning the temperature down.
“Fuck, you’re burning yourself,” he said, his eyes flashing with fear.
He snagged the handheld shower and tenderly rinsed my skin with cool water.
“No, need to get clean,” I sobbed, trying to reach the water controls.
Cam gently gathered my hands in his. “You are clean, Josie,” he almost whispered, his voice hoarse as he turned off the water and wrapped me in a towel.
“Dirty,” I choked out, flinching away from him.
“Are you afraid of me?” he asked in a horrified voice, immediately removing his hands from the towel and scooting back.
See, he doesn’t want to touch you.
Dirty dirty dirty.
“You should go,” I said, turning away from him and pressing my face against the cold tile.
“Baby girl, I would never hurt you. Please believe me.” Cam’s voice hitched, despair twisting his scent.
My omega was screaming to throw myself into his arms, to soak up all the comfort I could and soothe him in return.
