A car honked behind us and I wanted to scream. How could people continue living as if everything was normal when my world had fallen apart?
Ben reluctantly pulled his hand out of Josie’s grasp and turned back around.
“Okay,” Josie relented, her voice wooden.
I exhaled with relief and quickly pulled out my phone to dial Angie’s number through our encrypted app. Josie curled her body into a tight ball on Cam’s lap. She remained there, unresponsive, for the rest of the ride home.
ChapterFour
Josie
Iheard low voices and a car door shutting as cool air brushed against my skin. I kept my eyes closed, as if my eyelids could protect me from the outside world. After Theo examined my injuries in the car, I retreated inside myself. I imagined building a wall in my head, stacking brick after brick to protect myself… to hide away.
Cold spread across my limbs and numbness found a home in my chest. I didn’t want to feel anything. The only thing I allowed to permeate my wall was my alphas’ scents. I didn’t even care that all their scents were bitter and burnt with distress. I was just relieved they were here.
Strong arms lowered me onto my bed, but I kept my eyes closed. I wanted to beg them to pile around me, to press my body against theirs so hard I disappeared into them. But a sick feeling had taken hold in my stomach. I didn’t deserve their touch.
“Josie, beautiful, can you open your eyes for me?” Ben’s voice was soft and hesitant. My omega begged me to respond to him, but everything felt frozen. Did I even know how to lift my eyelids anymore? Or move my limbs?
“Angel, please say something,” Theo pleaded. A vice squeezed my chest at the pain in his voice. I needed to make it better, but I didn’t know how.
And then, two hands cupped the sides of my face and the scent of burnt cinnamon surrounded me. The heat of Cam’s hands against my skin unthawed me enough to open my eyes.
“Baby girl,” he said, his voice a strangled whisper. His brown eyes were anguished and lined with tears. “There you are.”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I didn’t know what to say. How could I ever come back from this? Now they would see how damaged I truly was. Now they would finally realize they deserved better than me.
Cam’s hands continued framing my face, and I couldn’t stop myself from leaning into his touch. He held my gaze for a few long moments. I braced myself for his rejection.
“I am so fucking sorry,” he said, a tear streaming down his cheek. “I will regret not protecting you for the rest of time.”
“What?” I croaked, unable to process his words.
“I should have protected you,” Cam said, his voice hitching.
“We all should have protected you,” Theo said, carefully lying beside me on the bed without touching me. “I’m sorry, angel.”
Ben squeezed his way onto the bed, not caring that he was shoving Cam aside. He didn’t seem to have any of Theo’s hesitation about touch, pressing in so his warm body was against mine. Cam grunted in irritation, and something about the moment was so perfect, so ridiculously normal, it startled me out of my icy numbness. I lifted my hand, feeling like it weighed a thousand pounds, and ran it through Ben’s curls.
“We shouldn’t have gone,” Ben said, hiding his face in my neck. “We should have done everything to keep you away from that place. I’m sorry we couldn’t stop them.”
“Not your fault,” I whispered, leaning into him and stealing comfort from his touch. I reached out to Cam, hoping he would understand I wanted him closer. He did, moving ever so carefully until he was seated against the headboard, pulling my head into his lap. He played with my hair, gently untangling it while Theo and Ben lay on either side of me.
My omega felt content and settled between her alphas, but maybe that was the problem. Maybeshewas the problem.
I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that. I floated, feeling detached from my body and the passage of time until Theo’s phone jolted me back to reality.
“Angie’s here,” he said. He brushed his lips against my forehead. “She won’t touch you unless you say it’s okay. And we won’t leave you alone.”
I nodded, unable to do anything else. I didn’t want anyone else in my room, didn’t want anyone else seeing me like this. But my alphas wanted me to get checked out, and I wanted to make them feel better.
I floated back into my protective cocoon behind the brick wall in my mind. I vaguely registered Angie entering. Cam shifted as if he was going to move but froze at my whine.
“Okay, sweetheart, I’ll stay right here,” he murmured, propping me up gently against his chest.
Theo covered me in a blanket, shielding me from Angie’s eyes, before pulling the rest of my sweater off. Cam kept hold of my hand, murmuring praise I didn’t deserve.
My thoughts were a confused jumble.
