“Because I’m not! I’m not precious. You shouldn’t be around me anymore. I’m tainted.”
The three of them growled, and my body urged me to submit.
“Don’t say that,” Cam snapped, his jaw clenched. “You. Are. Not. Tainted.”
“Yes, I am! I have this… again…” I gestured to my arm, unable to look at the bandage Theo had so tenderly placed there earlier. I didn’t think it even needed to be bandaged anymore, but it made me feel cared for, and my omega couldn’t fucking resist his care. I hated her for it.
“That doesn’t mean you’re tainted,” Ben said, taking a few hesitant steps towards me. “You are precious, Josie.”
“No! You don’t get it!” My breaths were coming faster now, and I was growing lightheaded. “Use your bark on me,” I demanded, looking at Cam. “Do it.”
This was the only way I could prove how damaged I was. If they had to see it to understand, so be it.
“Baby girl,” he said softly. “I don’t want to do that to you. I would never force you.”
“But you have to do it. You have to see for yourselves,” I responded, clawing at my upper arms without realizing what I was doing.
“Josie, angel, don’t hurt yourself,” Theo pleaded, his gaze fixed on the deep scratches reddening my skin.
“Then do it!” I shrieked.
Cam looked like he was in pain, but finally, in the softest, gentlest voice I’d ever heard from him, he barked, “Sit down.”
My body complied immediately. There was no chance to resist, nothing in me that could fight the command.
Nausea churned in my stomach. This was so different from the previous device. The old one had put me in a trance-like state where I couldn’t remember anything that happened, but it was time-limited. Once I woke from the trance, I knew it would be a while before they could do it again. I’d never understood why they couldn’t use the device all the time, but it had been something to hold on to. I didn’t know which was worse—the agonizing fear of not knowing what they’d done to me or being fully aware but never having a reprieve from alpha control. All my work trying to fight alpha barks was useless now.
“Again,” I said, unable to meet Cam’s tortured gaze.
“Sweetheart…” he said, moving towards me.
I scooted away from him.
His jaw flexed and he looked away. Ben and Theo were standing on either side of him. Ben had tears streaming down his face.
“Do it again!” I shouted, panic rushing through me.
“Stand up.” Cam infused his whisper with his bark.
Immediately, I was on my feet. I stood, frozen in place, my arms and legs shaking. I felt like I was losing my mind, losing my connection with my body. How could this be happening again? White-hot rage filled me as Glen’s smug face popped into my mind. I let out a scream and ran to the side of the room with free weights. I started throwing the lighter dumbbells. They hit the padded floor with dissatisfying thumps.
See how pathetic you are?
I screamed at the cruel voice, my hand clawing at the bandage on my arm.
Suddenly, Cam was in front of me, grasping my hands in his.
“Let me go!” I shrieked.
“Can’t let you hurt yourself,” he said, steel and agony in his voice.
I ripped my hands out of his and pushed him. He didn’t move an inch, which fueled my fury. I pushed him again and started banging my fists against his chest.
“That’s it, baby girl. Hit me. I can take it,” Cam said gently.
Tears blurred my vision and my sobs filled the room.
“It’s not fair,” I cried, hitting Cam’s chest again. “Not fair.”
