I pressed my face against Cam’s chest as Theo and Ben curled around me, their touches soothing as I rode the waves of emotions crashing over me.
* * *
Later in the evening, we were all outside in the backyard. Our new home had a brick courtyard with an outdoor kitchen that Ben was excited to use when it got warmer, along with a fire pit, rose garden, and large lawn. Ben had placed a big blanket on the grass because I wanted to see the stars. I lay back on the quilt as Cam piled another blanket on top of me. It was a clear, cold winter night and the moon and stars twinkled brightly above.
There would be more trials—Dr. Bishop, Jericho, Richard, and many others—but this had been the one I’d dreaded the most. Glen had kept his tight hold on me all these years, and now he was gone. I wasn’t sure how long it would take to sink in that he wasn’t haunting my every step. That was partially why I had dragged my guys out here—something in me said seeing the stars would help me realize I was free.
Theo entwined his fingers with mine, the slight pressure on my bond mark sending warmth through my body as we lay shoulder to shoulder. I lifted my other hand into the air, tracing different constellations and shapes in the sky. I felt the pulsing energy of love through the bond and sent my love back to my alphas, in disbelief that this was my life.
“Aren’t you cold?” Cam asked for what was probably the third time.
My breath puffed in the air as I suppressed a chuckle, turning to face him. It was a cold night, but between my guys’ body heat and the bonfire, I was toasty warm.
“Now I’m thinkingyou’rethe one who’s cold,” I responded.
“Alphas don’t get cold,” he muttered, crossing his arms. The puffy jacket he was wearing made the pose much less intimidating.
My lips twitched as I scooted along the quilt until I was half on top of him. I pressed my nose against his face and then pulled back.
“Oh my god, your skin is freezing! You should have said something.” I grabbed one of my extra blankets and arranged it on top of him instead.
“Aww, Cam, you should have told us you were cold,” Ben teased, eyes dancing.
Cam scowled as he tugged the blanket up to his chin.
“Absolutely. How else would I have known I needed to snuggle closer to you for body heat?” I asked, moving on top of Cam like a personal omega blanket.
Ben huffed. “Hey, actually, I’mfreezing.”
I snorted as I snuggled closer to Cam.
“You getting warmer?” I murmured. “We can also go inside.”
He tightened his hold on me. “This is perfect.”
“We can travel now, right?” I asked, reaching out to trace my hand down Ben’s cheek. The government had lifted most of the omega travel restrictions, though it was still hard for unbonded omegas to leave Luna. We had been stuck waiting here for the trial. “Lilah and Sam said they’d take me car shopping when we visit.”
Theo cleared his throat. “The driving laws haven’t been lifted yet,” he hedged.
I snorted. “As if you’re not secretly lobbying for them to stick around.”
“We would never,” he said unconvincingly, grinning as he traced his hand down my side and cupped my ass.
“Uh huh,” I said.
“We should go out and celebrate tomorrow,” Ben said. “I’m sure Seb would give us a last-minute reservation.”
“That sounds great,” I responded.
I’d mostly been staying at the new house, our countless home renovation projects keeping me busy. But it had also been an excuse for me to hide away. I wanted to get out more and really startliving.
“You have therapy tomorrow, right, love?” Theo asked.
Ugh.
We’d all been going to therapy since Theo had called Angie in a panic a few weeks after the mission. I’d been having horrible nightmares, and it had gotten to where I was too afraid to sleep. Angie recommended it to all of us after what we’d been through. I’d been resistant to the idea at first, unsure I’d be able to trust a stranger with my darkest memories. But then my alphas agreed to get their own therapy if I gave it a try, which finally convinced me. I knew they were all suffering and wanted them to get the help they needed.
My first few appointments with the beta therapist had been rough. She kept talking about using coping and grounding skills to help me feel safe again, but it all felt stupid and useless. Then I’d had a nightmare I couldn’t be pulled out of—the same one I’d had almost every night where tall, shadowy figures ripped my alphas out of the nest and slit their throats in front of me. My alphas tried to wake me, and in my panic, I elbowed Ben in the face. When I finally came back to my body, blood was spurting from his nose, covering the sheets. The scent of his blood was enough to send me into another panic. I had curled up in the back of the closet, punishing myself for what I’d done. It had taken an hour for my alphas to coax me out. By then, Ben’s nose was practically healed, but I still felt awful. So for the past few months, I’d been taking therapy seriously. I had to admit that it was helping. As painful as it was, I felt like that wounded darkness inside me was starting to heal, at least around the edges.
