I took every excuse to touch Josie while we were baking—brushing my hands down her side as I helped her put on an apron, pressing my body against hers anytime I leaned to get an ingredient, guiding her hands while she kneaded dough. I was so distracted I almost forgot to put sugar in the filling. My behavior was absurd, but Josie didn’t say a word. She hummed contentedly to the music playing from the kitchen speakers, gently placing the completed buns in the prepared pans.
“You’re so good at this, Ben,” she said as we placed the last tray in the oven. “You could totally run your own bakery.”
I stilled, searching her face to see if she was teasing me. But, of course, all I saw was genuineness.
“Do you really think I could?” I croaked out.
“Of course,” she said, scrunching her nose in confusion. “Why wouldn’t you be able to? You’re amazing.”
Warmth bloomed in my chest, and I couldn’t stop myself from picking her up and spinning her around. Her giggles filled the air.
“Thanks, precious,” I said, sitting her down on the counter and pressing little kisses all over her face. “It’s something I’ve thought about, but I’m not sure I’d actually be good at running a business, you know? Honestly, it’s a miracle I can bake at all with how air-headed I am.” I forced out a laugh to cover the pain of my self-deprecation as the words I had overheard my father speaking to my mother played in my head.Can’t believe you only birthed a single alpha, giving us that clueless, weak idiot.
Josie gripped my face with her hands, pinning me with a fierce expression. “You’re not allowed to say things like that about yourself. You’re brilliant and sweet and funny. If you started a bakery, it’d probably be the most successful in the city. And how could you say you’re not smart? Ben, you’re a computer-hacking person. That seems, like, really hard.”
I couldn’t stop a smile from stretching across my face. “A computer hacking person?”
Josie shrugged nonchalantly. “Close enough.”
“Not sure Cam and Theo would be thrilled if I stopped my computer hacking activities to start a bakery.”
“I’m sure they just want you to be happy,” she said softly, stroking her fingers down my cheek.
Part of me knew she was right, but there was another part that was convinced I would disappoint them. Theo and Cam had protected me growing up, believing in me enough to put me in charge of our cyber security team. Leaving the company would betray everything they’d done for me.
“Is there anything you’ve wanted to do?” I asked, needing to change the subject.
“Oh,” she said, looking startled to have been asked. Her eyes had a faraway look to them. I moved in closer, wedging myself between her lush thighs.
“I used to have plans. Sam and I dreamed about what our lives would be like after we turned eighteen. We were going to find a place together, get jobs, and save money for school. I had thought about studying marketing and graphic design, but really, I just wanted anything that would get me out of my parents’ house. Sam turned eighteen a few weeks before me and secured an apartment. I secretly packed all my things so I would be ready to go.” She paused as if she was back there. I squeezed her leg, trying to remind her she was still with me.
She took a little breath and continued, “But then, a week before my birthday, the Designation Government took over. Just like that, I wasn’t allowed to work or attend college. I was stuck at my parents’ house for two years. Honestly, I feel like the past five years are a blur. I can’t remember a lot of it.”
That last part came out in a hoarse whisper. Her scent turned bitter and she didn’t meet my gaze. My heart ached. I wanted to soothe her, but I could feel how precarious this moment was. This was the most Josie had shared with me about her past, and I didn’t want to interrupt. I thought she had frozen up on me when she continued.
“Sam ended up going to a college close to home so we could still see each other. He got me suppressants and black-market books. But when they opened the Designation Academy, I was automatically enrolled in the inaugural class. At first, it was like a boarding school. We took classes to help prepare us for a pack. I thought they would force me to do pack interviews, but they didn’t… they…” she petered off.
Fine trembles worked through her body and her skin felt cold. I held her tightly against me, trying to lend her my warmth. She shuddered in my grasp, the tiniest whimper escaping her as she melted into me.
“Thanks for sharing that, precious. I’m so sorry for what they did. So, so sorry.”
We stayed there, arms around each other until the oven timer went off. I slowly pulled away, my heart clenching all over again when I realized I had a damp spot on my shirt from her tears. She wiped at her face, giving me a tremulous smile. I wanted to destroy everyone who had hurt her, take away every moment of pain she had felt.
I was at a loss for what to say as I pulled out the cinnamon rolls. They looked perfect. I imagined what it would be like to work together in a bakery. Vanilla cupcakes would have to be our specialty.
“Cinnamon rolls were my little sister’s favorite,” I said.
Josie tilted her head. “You two were close, right?”
“Yeah,” I said with a smile, setting the last pan on the stove. “My older three sisters were quite a bit older. They all bonded their packs when I was still young. But Lilah and I were so close. She’s less than two years younger than me and was my shadow growing up. God, she’s so smart. Like scary smart. She was supposed to go to college… She wanted to be a doctor or researcher and advance omega medicine. She and Cam’s sister, Ellie, always kept us on our toes. They were so much trouble. We spent so much time together—me, Ellie, and Lilah causing trouble, and Theo and Cam trying to keep us from getting everyone killed. They definitely would have thought you were too good for us.”
“You don’t talk with her anymore?”
“I wasn’t allowed to after we were kicked out. My parents never really bought into the designation crap, but they were pressured to shun me like the other families. Back then, we didn’t have money, so I couldn’t hire someone to keep track of Lilah. I know she bonded a pack shortly after I left, but then it’s like she disappeared.”
Josie furrowed her brow, reaching out to grab my hand. “I’m so sorry, Ben.”
“I have to believe she’s okay,” I said quietly. I missed Lilah so much and was terrified she’d been harmed like Ellie.
