I jumped when Ben finally broke the silence.
“What do you mean, gorgeous? What about your heat?” He quickly added, “We never want to pressure you, but I’m worried about your safety in your heat if we don’t, you know...”
“I’ve found a way to get suppressants. They’ll dull the heat enough so I can get through it,” I said carefully.
It wasn’t until this moment that I realized I hadn’t thought this through. Telling them I wanted suppressants gave them even more ammunition to use against me. Even though they had said they weren’t angry that I had been on them, I couldn’t quite believe it.
A quiet growl rippled through Cam’s chest and I tensed, ready for him to lash out at me. The growl abruptly stopped.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he said. “The idea of you suffering even a little bit puts me on edge. I just want you to be okay.”
I wasn’t expecting that response. It was enough to make me brave enough to uncurl slightly and make eye contact with them. I inhaled sharply when I saw their expressions of care and concern. I searched their faces for disappointment or anger and couldn’t find any. Somehow, this was even more unsettling—I didn’t know what to do with their reactions.
“I don’t want to make things hard for you or disappoint you,” I almost whispered. “But we just met and…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
Theo shifted to sit on the coffee table in front of me.
“Angel, just breathe. Everything is okay. None of us are mad at you. We want to support you.” Cam and Ben murmured their agreement.
Theo held his hand out to me, allowing me to decide whether to take it. I waited a minute to see if he would grow frustrated by my hesitation, but he sat patiently. I tentatively reached out until my hand was resting in his. My building panic and tension dissipated at his touch.
“Who is the suppressant supplier?” he asked, giving my hand a squeeze.
“It’s a doctor my friend knows through the Alliance. They’ve been out of town but are supposed to be back tomorrow. They’re going to call me to set it up,” I whispered.
I didn’t want to share too much, especially not Sam’s involvement, in case they turned around and reported me. Although the longer I was with them, the less likely it seemed they would betray me.
Cam brushed my hair back from my face. “Okay, sweetheart. We’ll help you get the suppressants. No one will push you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. No sex unless you want it,” he said firmly.
“We’ll do some research and see how we can support you through a suppressant-assisted heat,” Theo said.
“I don’t think you’ll be able to find any information on it,” I said. “The government removed all of that stuff from the internet.”
“Ahh, but you now have a hacker at your disposal,” Ben said with an easy smile. “We’ll get the information and do whatever we can to make you safe.”
Relief washed through me, and my eyes grew heavy. The intense conversation, all the stress I’d been through, and a string of sleepless nights were finally catching up to me.
“You look done in. Do you want to take a nap?” Cam asked.
I felt like I should say no, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I couldn’t remember the last time my body had been this relaxed. Their scents drugged me and turned me boneless. Cam stood, holding me tight to his body. I tried to force my eyes open, but instead, I pressed my face into his chest. I was vaguely aware we were walking through the house and going upstairs. I wanted to see what the rest of the house looked like, but I was too comfortable, too sleepy, to look around.
A door clicked and Cam set me down on a bed, his hands lingering for a moment before he let me go and took a small step back.
“This is… um… your room. Sorry it’s not better. We’ll fix it up,” Cam said, his voice gruff as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Without his hands on me, I was suddenly wide awake. I opened my eyes and took in the room. Even though it was sparse, it was nicer than anything I’d ever had. I could tell they had made an effort to get what I needed for my heat—the bed was massive and piled high with blankets and pillows and string lights crisscrossed the ceiling.
Cam, Ben, and Theo stood near the bed, shifting from side to side as if nervous about my reaction. Cam scowled at the room as if it had personally offended him. I’d never been in a situation before where alphas wanted to pleaseme,and it made me feel powerful.
“The room is great,” I said, stroking one of the soft blankets. The three of them puffed up, looking thrilled by my assessment. I had to stifle a grin at how easy they were to please.
A haze of awkwardness settled on the room. None of us knew what to do next.
“Um, could I have a few minutes to myself?” I asked. I desperately wanted to change out of my horrible dress and needed some space to process everything.
“Of course,” Theo said. “We’ll be downstairs. Just let us know if you need anything.”
They filed out of the room slowly, as if they were forcing themselves to leave. When the door shut behind them, I felt empty. I pushed myself off the bed and walked to the suitcase someone had brought up. I quickly stripped off the too-tight dress my mother had gotten me, frowning at the marks left on my skin, and dressed in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I looked around, at a loss for what I was supposed to do.I should feel relieved that they’re gone, right?This was what I wanted—time alone to process. But as I took in the room, I felt deeply alone.
