“So they took me to this room. Glen was there with Dr. Bishop, my fathers, and other DA board members. Glen announced to all of them I was a defective omega and could never bond with a pack the way I was. But they had just created a new training program to transform omegas like me to fit the expected designation standards.”
My tears fell heavily. Cam wrapped the blanket around me tighter.
“Take a breath, baby girl.”
I forced the air into my lungs and then continued, trying to get the words out as fast as possible.
“They forced me onto a metal table and strapped me down. Everyone stood around me, watching me as I screamed. Glen said they had a new device they could implant into an omega’s arm that would force compliance and deliver punishment, all to train the omega to obey alphas at all times. So, then they cut open my arm and put the device in.”
“Shit,” Ben said, looking wide-eyed at Cam, whose jaw clenched. Cam shook his head almost imperceptibly, and I wanted to ask about their reactions, but I was shaking too hard to get words out.
“Shh, you’re going to make yourself sick,” Theo said, running his hand up and down my back, his pace too rapid to be soothing. “I’m going to get you some water.” He kissed me on the cheek before getting up. The silence in the room was stifling, broken only by my sobs and Cam’s growl. I reached out blindly for Ben’s hand, unable to stomach looking any of them in the eye. He immediately captured my hand, squeezing it tightly and kissing my wrist.
I heard shattering glass from the kitchen and flinched.
“Theo?” I asked.
“Don’t worry,” Cam said. “He’s just trying to process it all.”
I curled into myself. “I’m making you upset.”
“We’re upset because we love you more than anything. You’re being so brave, so strong to tell us.”
Theo returned with a glass and tissues. I met his gaze for a split second, and the rage and love I found there took my breath away. I managed a few sips of water before exchanging the glass for tissues, cleaning up my face and blowing my nose. I could feel my mates’ eyes on me intently as I grabbed more tissues to blow my nose again. For some reason, the idea of them staring so seriously at my snot caused a hysterical giggle to burst out of me.
“Never thought I’d have an audience for blowing my nose,” I quipped. None of them said anything, the tension still crackling in the room.
“Okay, Josie, not the time for joking,” I muttered.
“I think you’re very funny,” Ben said gravely.
I snorted, casting him a grateful smile. He winked and that gesture, more than anything, helped me continue.
“After they put the device in me and sewed up the cut, Glen activated it. I lost consciousness. When I came to, all I knew was some amount of time had passed. Everyone in the room, my fathers included, were clapping and congratulating Glen for his work. I realized I was naked.” I dug my fingernails into my palms more deeply, trying to keep myself from returning to that room. Theo’s hands captured mine, soothing the marks on my skin.
“Squeeze my hand as hard as you want to,” he said. “Use your fingernails on me.”
I whimpered. I could never cause him pain. But I gave his hand a squeeze in gratitude.
“I was terrified of what had happened and lashed out at the doctor and assistant. Then Glen activated the device again, but this time it gave me an electric shock. I didn’t know if the pain would ever end. After that, I didn’t fight them.”
“During the rest of my time at the DA, Glen visited frequently. We had monthly medical exams, and he would be there for them. He would activate the device so I would be unconscious for the exam. It feels almost worst that I wasn’t awake for it. I don’t know what they did to me,” I sobbed. “I’m dirty.”
“No,” the three of them growled at the same time.
“You are so strong, precious. Such a survivor,” Ben said, kissing away my tears. “I’m so in awe of you and how you’ve kept going, kept resisting, keptliving.”
“But I stopped fighting,” I confessed. “Anytime I did anything they didn’t like, they would take more things away. I lost track of time. I think I spent more time in solitary than out of it. And Glen would visit and use the device—shocking me if I didn’t obey him and then putting me unconscious whenever he wanted. When it was finally time to leave the DA, my parents came to collect me and bring me back to their house. I hadn’t been outside for almost two years. Those first few weeks, I stayed in my room. I wanted to die,” I whispered.
“That’s how Sam found me. I hadn’t gotten to speak to him for two years. He was about to move to Sol. He told me he wrote to me the whole time I was at the DA but had been told that I didn’t want to talk to him—I was too busy having fun at boarding school. He panicked when he saw me. He was going to give up moving to be with Ger…” I stopped, aware that I was about to betray his secret.
“We are forever in debt to Sam,” Cam said, sensing my hesitation. “He’s part of your family, which makes him a part of ours. We would never do anything to hurt him.”
I nuzzled my face into Cam’s neck. “He was going to give up moving to be with his boyfriend just to make sure I was okay. But I told him… I told him I would kill myself if he gave up his happiness for me.”
Ben made a distressed noise.
“Our compromise was that he would keep paying for his apartment so I could move in. At that point, political opposition to the Designation Government was ramping up, and they weren’t paying me a lot of attention. Sam moved me out without telling my parents. Once they found out, they tried to threaten me to get me to return. I told them I would make everything that happened to me at the DA public if they tried to force me back home. That scared them enough to back off.”
