I chuckled. “I met this guy, Liam, through a job. We were helping him do a security eval for his company. Anyway, he’s a cool guy and we started hanging out some. He was in the scene and went to clubs. He told me about it and convinced me to give it a try.” I watched Josie for any signs of disgust, but she just looked curious.
“What do you like about it?” she asked.
“Liam showed me that being an alpha and wanting dominance wasn’t inherently bad. My fathers always used violence to get their way, but that’s not what BDSM is about. It gives me an outlet to be myself, but everyone involved consents and wants to be part of the scene. It helped me accept being an alpha.”
“That makes sense,” Josie said slowly. “What kinds of things do you like?”
“Liam used to tease me about how vanilla I am. I’m not into anything extreme. I like some bondage, spanking my partner, controlling her pleasure and orgasms.” Josie perfumed with arousal and my cock grew hard under her. “I also like the more nurturing aspects of BDSM. It’s not something I’ve explored at clubs or with any partners, but you bring out that side of me. I want to make sure you’re safe, make sure you follow the rules and care for yourself, punish you if you put yourself in danger or disobey,” I said. Her breaths were coming faster now and her cheeks were flushed.
“You like that idea, baby girl?”
“I felt like there was something wrong with me when I read things like that in romance books and wanted it.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” I said firmly. “What did you like about it when you were reading?”
“I liked the idea of letting go of control but knowing that my partner was safe and looking out for me. And, I don’t know, it was just hot to read about.”
“Would you ever want to try it?”
“Yes,” she said, her pupils dilating.
“It’s really important that you know you are ultimately always in control. You would have a safe word and I would always, always listen to it.”
“I know. I trust you,” she said.
“That’s the greatest gift you could give me, sweetheart,” I responded, pulling her in for a kiss.
ChapterForty-Nine
Josie
My emotions swirled as I leaned into the kiss.
I felt devastating sadness for Ellie, my chest tightening with the reminder that hers could have easily been my fate if not for my alphas. I breathed through my sadness, letting Cam’s scent soothe the pain.
Cam’s vulnerability, his trust, filled me with gratitude. I knew the time was coming to tell my alphas everything that had happened to me, but right now, I had other things on my mind.
I circled my arms around Cam’s neck, falling deeper into the kiss as his chest rumbled and he planted a hand on my ass.
I needed an outlet for my emotions, the chance to let go and justfeel.
Cam broke our kiss and my lip jutted out in an automatic pout. He chuckled, running his finger along my lip.
“Do you want to find the guys and get some food?” he murmured, his voice deep and gravelly.
Wait, what?Confusion and a flash of insecurity ran through me.I was definitelynotthinking about food right now. I thought we were gearing up for something different thanlet’s go eat something. Unless that something was me.Ugh, my dirty talk is terrible.
I paused before responding, sorting through my emotions. My insecurity was still there, the fear that, deep down, he didn’t actually want me. Except, that argument no longer felt convincing. Iknewhe wanted me.
The confidence of that thought pulled me up short. When had I become so sure of my desirability? Happiness bloomed in my chest as I realized how much my time with my alphas had grown my confidence. Cam was holding back because he was afraid of scaring me, not because he didn’t find me attractive. I knew he would never do anything to harm me, but he didn’t trust himself. I had to do something that would help him drop his inhibitions. And then a mischievous idea took root.
“No,” I responded. “I want to spend time with just you.” I trailed my hands down his chest and lower until I cupped his cock through his pants.
His eyes heated, and a low growl rumbled through his chest. His hand wrapped around my wrist but didn’t pull me away. “Careful, baby girl, I’m on edge right now. It’s been an eventful day. You should go rest.”
“Don’t you want me?” I asked, making sure my eyes looked wide and innocent, slightly poking out my lip in a pout.
“Fuck, more than I can say, but I’m not fully in control right now. I would be… too much for you. Go with Ben and Theo for a bit.”
