I ducked into the back seat, where I promptly gasped and clamped my hand over my lips. Despite everything, despite thefact that my head felt similar to the time I stood up too fast in my parents’ garage and whaled it on an overhanging bike, a smile sprawled against my palm.
“Surprise,” Wells said, holding aloft a bottle of champagne.
“Even better,” Natalie said, leaning to hand me something wrapped in waxy paper. She wore fall florals: A fashion risk she pulled off in a way that was no less than flawless. My Aunt Josie always said florals were hit or miss because you could either look like a grandmother’s couch or like Florida curtains, but Nat reveled in any cloth that graced her curves.
I peeled off tape securing the wax paper, a little unnerved by the warmth emanating from it. And then I was hit with a smell so enticing my mouth watered. “You got me—”
“Pastrami, spicy mustard, and provolone.” Natalie grinned. “I ate half.” She caught me looking into the darker corners of the car. “Caleb and your parents are meeting us there,” she said. I hoped I was the only one who picked up on her emphasis.
“Amazing.” I pointed to a gold gift bag nestled between Wells’s feet. “What else on earth could I need right now?”
“This is for later.” Wells handed me an entire package of napkins. “Here. Samantha said to tell you if you destroy your dress, she’ll destroy you.”
I ran my thumbnail over the napkins, fluttering them like pages of a book. A well of emotion pooled, flooding me with that rare, delicious feeling, the one where everything felt fresh and exciting and, well, lucky. Uncontainable and invincible all at once. Maybe I could be happy like this: with my soulmate, with my best friend, with my old best friend and my parents showing up for milestones. Living for the promise of what was to come. Not for the first time, I wanted to carve out this moment and keep it.
Thirty-Six
But the high only lasted so long. To my surprise (dismay), there was an actual red carpet set up in front of the building, complete with professional photographers. My face drained when I saw the slow-cam. A groan slipped from my throat before I could contain it.
“Your followers are going to love this,” Wells murmured.
“I don’t care what they love,” I shot back. But I obliged.
That became the theme of my evening:I obliged.I recognized most people, knew few names. Natalie positioned herself beside me for the first twenty minutes, then fell into a conversation with one of the new cameramen. Dola patted my nose with translucent powder, shoved a spare lipstick into my clutch. “I feel like every time I see you, you’re tweaking my face,” I said.
Her nose crinkled. “You do realize that’s my job, right?”
The only time I felt at all like myself was when my parents arrived. “You look gorgeous, Mom,” I said, and she did. She appeared well-rested, graceful. Dad was visibly uncomfortable, and I knew he was stuffed in a suit for my sake alone. “You’re not even wearing your funeral suit,” I said, kissing his cheek. “This must be an occasion.”
Light jumped into his eyes, and his smile was rueful. “You like it? Got it on sale.”
“Macy’s or JC Penney?” I asked. “Let me guess. Hyannis mall?”
“Mom took me all the way to Hingham,” he said. “To Nordstrom.”
“Nordstrom Rack,” my mother mouthed. “We’re just so proud of you.” She hugged me the way only she could, then stepped back. She clocked Natalie, Wells, then looked at me with a question in her eyes. “Where is—”
“He’s on his way,” I said, hoping I wasn’t lying.
I had coaxed the network into avoiding a long event, a decision I regretted when it was time to head into the interior for dinner and there was still no sign of him. On our way in, I ducked into the restroom, locked myself in a stall, and cracked open my clutch.
No new messages. I sent one to Caleb.
you still coming?
...
I swiped away from his thread, then checked my social media accounts. Habit. I shook my head. The thing about hiding out in the bathroom is you only have so much time before people start worrying there was a problem of the embarrassing variety.
I checked again. Not even the three dots.
I waited as long as I could. The pastrami I ate in the car turned in my stomach, and acid clawed the center of my chest. Ikept thinking of that psychic in the park. Of the way Caleb’s face fell when she asked if our soulmates had passed on. I washed my hands, slipped one of Josef’s favorite Listerine strips in my mouth, and headed to the reception.
The event went off seamlessly, minus Caleb’s no-show status. Tate’s speech was short but kind, I scored the right ratio oflaughs to claps with mine. During the round of applause, Samantha lifted a flute of champagne in my direction and mouthed,To the future.
I entertained my parents, Natalie, Wells, and the empty gold chair that was supposed to contain Caleb with a story of a man I’d interviewed who claimed he was paying his rent by selling off his own biology (sperm, plasma, red blood cells, you name it), but was really running his own exposé on the medical research industry. He hoped to get an agent and sell the memoir. The painted gilt on Caleb’s empty chair kept reflecting the candlelight, until Natalie convinced a waiter to remove it under the guise of having more elbow space.
When it ended, we piled into the limo, Dola sliding into the front seat beside Trent. She wrapped her arms around him and nudged a kiss onto his cheek, and the second her grin inched over her profile, I knew what I was about to do.
