“I told her it sounded interesting and that I’d look into it.”
“Why are you always so nice to these people?” Paula asked, shaking her head.
“They’re just trying to help.” Lulu paused. “But then Aunt Nancy started talking about a friend of hers who’d been told she had six months to live, and then her tumors completely vanished through the power of positive thinking, and that did rankle me a bit, because I consider myself quite positive. So then I took out my phone and showed her photos of those pieces I did recently. You know, the ones where I took my scans and painted flowering vines growing out of the tumors? They always make me smile.”
Olivia smirked. “And how’d that go?”
“She went a bit pale and excused herself. It’s strange how often people find those pieces upsetting. I think they’re so cheerful.”
“Cheerful. Right.” Paula turned to Olivia. “How’s Marigold?”
“She’s good. Excited. It means so much to her that you’re both here. We know it wasn’t the easiest trip.” At least, that’s probably what Marigold would’ve said, if she hadn’t disappeared. Karen had an intense fear of flying, so she and Paula only traveled by train. It’d taken the better part of a week for them to make it to Sandpiper Island.
“We wouldn’t have missed Marigold’s wedding for the world,” Paula said. “And we’ll do the same for your wedding someday.”
“What if it’s in Hawaii?”
“Then we’ll take an outrigger canoe.”
The firmness in Paula’s voice made Olivia’s chest twinge. She was making a promise in that moment, an assurance that she’d always be there for Olivia. That even if Olivia’s mother didn’tlive long enough to see her get married, she’d be there in spirit, carried in the heart of the woman who knew her best, and loved her daughters as if they were her own.
“Olivia might not want to get married,” Karen said, giving her wife a reproachful look.
“Tell that to the seven-year-old who would force the goats to be the ‘ushers’ when she came to visit me on the ranch. Do you remember those little bow ties we made for them?”
“Yeah, they didnotlike that,” Olivia said.
“I always thought it was funny.” Paula’s voice grew slightly wistful. “You were such a serious little thing at that age, but you loved pretending to be a bride.”
“I wonder what that was about.” Lulu sounded suddenly sad, as if worried what too much probing would reveal. “You had too many responsibilities when you were young. Maybe you fantasized about getting swept away by someone who’d take care ofyou.”
“I don’t think it’s that deep, Mom. It was probably just about the dress. And the cake.”
A server came to take their order. Olivia had lost track of what meal she was supposed to be on and asked for a side salad and an iced coffee. “Are you one of those women who loses a bunch of weight after breakups?” Paula asked worriedly.
“Breakup?” Olivia repeated.
“We heard about you and Zack.”
“Oh? Yeah. I guess? I mean, we were hardly dating, so I’m not sure it counts as a breakup. I didn’t think many people knew we were even together.”
“I’m sorry, it’s my fault,” Lulu said. “I was just so happy, I probably spread the news a bit too widely. He’s had a crush on you for ages.”
Olivia whipped around to face her mother. “Wait, what?”
“He admitted it once, that time he and Jonathan came over for Thanksgiving. I think he was a little drunk. It was very sweet.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“He made me promise not to say anything. He sounded so scared and earnest, what could I do? I knew he wasn’t your type, so it didn’t seem worth breaking his confidence.”
“That Thanksgiving was almost two years ago,” Olivia said, her mind reeling. She’d been deeply annoyed when Jonathan invited Zack, and even more irritated when she’d ended up seated next to him. They’d debated student loan forgiveness, as she recalled. And universal basic income, which Olivia had called a beautiful fairy tale for bleeding-heart liberals who’d studied the history of anarchist zines instead of economics. (Something she didn’t actually believe; she just wanted to push his buttons.) Even after dinner was over, he’d followed her around the penthouse, trying to bait her into another argument. At the time, she’d assumed it was all fodder for his blog, but perhaps it’d been his version of playground teasing. “Why’d you think he wasn’t my type?”
Lulu gave her anare you serious?look.
“Fine, you’re right. I wish you’d told me, though. I wouldn’t have been so mean to him.”And I wouldn’t have agreed to pretend to date him.
She replayed the events of the past twelve hours, except this time, she forced herself to look at them objectively, not letting her misguided shame and insecurity color anything. Maybe he hadn’t hooked up with her out of pity. Maybe he’d actually been excited that something was finally happening. And then he’d woken up to find Olivia gone and an email on his phone saying that it’d all been a mistake.
