Olivia braced for the inevitable follow-up: the meaninglessit’sgoing to be okayplatitudes, or the clumsy attempts at empathy—I know what you’re going through. When my great-aunt had cancer…or, worst of all,When my dog got sick last year…But to her relief, Zack didn’t continue talking. He just placed another log on the fire, then sat back and waited for her speak.
“No, it’s not,” Olivia said finally.
“And then on top of that, the guy you liked showed up with another woman?”
“Yeah… we’d been flirting for a few weeks, and I thought we’d finally get together this weekend.” She buried her head in her hands. “God, I sound like a teenager.”
“You sound like a human. It’s kind of refreshing, actually.”
Her head snapped up. “It’s refreshing to see me rejected for a supermodel who’ll probably win a Nobel Peace Prize someday? Thanks so much.”
“No, I mean it’s refreshing to see you express real human emotion. You always seem so… buttoned up.”
She shot him a withering look. “We’ve been in the same room, like, five times.”
“I’m a keen observer of human behavior.”
“Well, then you’ve surely noticed that there’s plenty of emotion in my family already. Someone has to handle their shit.”
“Isn’t that what family’s for, though? You take turns supporting one another.”
“Did you read that on a mug in Target?”
“Would that fit on a mug? Probably better suited for one of those wooden boards.” He took the poker and adjusted the logs, releasing a small shower of sparks. “For what it’s worth, you’re right—I think she’s just his date.”
“How do you know?”
Zack shrugged. “Just a vibe I got.”
“Because you’re such akeen observer of human behavior,” she said, feeling suddenly lighter.
“You know, just because he brought a date, it doesn’t mean he’s not into you. That’s not really how it works with most men. They just get distracted by whatever shiny thing’s right in front of them at the moment.”
“Please don’t refer to women asthings.”
“Come on, you know what I mean. I’m sure he was looking forward to trying to bang you at the wedding, and then just got momentarily distracted. You just need to catch his attention again.”
Olivia narrowed her eyes. “Every time I’m close to admitting that you might actually have a brain, you say something like ‘bang you at the wedding.’?”
“You know what you need?” Zack continued, ignoring her. “You’ve got to make him jealous. Is there anyone else you want to hook up with?”
“No.”
“Then why don’twepretend to be a couple?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Once he realizes he missed his chance, he won’t be able to stop thinking about you.”
“That’s the best you can come up with?”
“The male mind is simple and predictable. Trust me—seeing you with another man will make him regret putting you on the back burner.”
“This is ridiculous. There’s no way we could pull that off.” But even as she dismissed the idea, a series of images took shape in her head: Andrew’s face falling as he spotted Olivia and Zackcanoodling. Lulu smiling and turning to whisper happily to Bill. The surprise of the guests, who’d probably spent most of last night thinking,See,thisis why she’s still single. “Why would you do that for me? You don’t want to ruin your chances of actually hooking up with someone this weekend. Not after you’ve carriedThe House of Mirthall this way.”
“Okay, first of all, I’m readingThe House of Mirthbecause it’s a powerful example of how capitalistic and misogynistic forces destroy female agency. And second, it’s the least I can do after causing such a massive clusterfuck with the boat key.” Was he actually blushing? “I’m really sorry about that.”
Olivia let his words sink in. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d heard a man sincerely apologize. Her male colleagues never admitted fault, something they seemed to equate with showing weakness. That made sense when you were facing down opposing council, but would it kill them to sayI’m sorrywhen they gave bad info to a paralegal that resulted in days of lost work? None of her ex-boyfriends ever apologized for anything. Even Bill, the kindest man she knew, hated acknowledging a mistake. “Thank you. But it’s okay. You definitely don’t need to pretend we’re in a relationship. It’d never work, anyway.”
