I am thinking of everything and nothing.
He sends back a laughing face, to which I raise an eyebrow and respond,And why aren’t you asleep?
A pause, and then he texts,Horny.
I’ve encountered the word. It means to be preoccupied with sexual desire or need.Can you not view some nude images of women or men and pleasure yourself?
Raoul sends another laughing face.Pleasure myself? You mean jerk off? What century are you from?
I send him a row of skulls.
He replies,Can I call you?
Surprise flutters through my stomach. After giving it careful thought, I conclude that a call won’t pose any greater risk than texting.
Very well.
My phone buzzes a moment later, and when I answer, I can hear Raoul breathing quickly, as if he’s nervous.
For two full minutes, neither of us speak. We simply exist in silence, linked by the sound of each other’s breathing.
“I don’t know why I asked if I could call you,” he says at last.
“I’m not sure why I answered.”
“Goddamn, your voice is beautiful.” He sounds reluctant to admit it. He clears his throat and says more forcefully, “Maybe I called to tell you to back off. To leave Christine alone. You scared her tonight.”
“What are you, her guard dog?” I ask dryly.
“Maybe.”
“If you’re the dog, I’m the master.”
“Master…” He gives a ragged laugh. “You’re a stalker. A bully.”
“I am neither and more.”
“What do you want from her?”
“Everything.”
“Does Christine know who you are?”
“No one knows me completely.”
“Yeah.” Raoul’s tone shifts, a note of sadness in his voice. “I feel that.”
“What doyouwant from Christine?”
“Her talent, obviously, for the musical. And…I knew her in school, when we were kids. She protected me once. I think I’ve loved her since that day.”
My jealousy revolts at the idea of a prior claim, but I stay silent, waiting for him to continue. The more weaknesses he reveals, the easier it will be to defeat him.
“I want her,” he says quietly. “But I’m not sure she’s the only one I want. God, I shouldnotbe saying this, but…I’ve thought about you for weeks. Ever since you and I…”
His voice trails off, but I know what he means. I felt the raw heat thrumming between us when I held him against the wall with my body. But I’ve made up my mind about who I want. It’s Christine and no one else.
“Let me be clear—you and I are enemies. Rivals.”
