‘Oh, Ash,’ I murmur, rubbing his back.
He’s wearing a dark-coloured hoodie and my hand bounces up and down as his body shakes violently beneath it.
‘I’m so sorry.’
He’s inconsolable. I hadn’t prepared myself for this level of grief. I’m out of my depth. He’s so in love with her, in so much pain.
‘Don’t give up on her.’ My chest contracts even as I say it.
‘You don’t understand,’ he chokes out, roughly brushing away his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie. ‘Once Beca’s made up her mind about something, she doesn’t change it.’
How my heart recoils at hearing him talk like this.
‘But you’ll still try, right? You love her.’
‘Of course I love her. After Taran, she was my closest friend. That’s why I’m so fucking sad. I’ve just lost anotherfriend.’ He buries his head in his hands and lets out an anguished sob.
‘Ash,’ I murmur again.
‘Sorry,’ he gasps. ‘I shouldn’t be crying to you.’
‘Do you want me to go?’
‘No,’ he replies adamantly. ‘No. I don’t.’
I drape my arm around his back, resting my chin on his shoulder, and after a moment he lets his weight fall against me.
We just sit there next to each other, in silence, and eventually his breathing settles into a slow, even pace.
My insides are a mangled, writhing mess, but I’m trying not to think about how much I’m hurting right now.
I lift my head to look at the stars. There’s a super bright one, right near the horizon.
‘Do you know what that star is called?’
‘It’s not a star, they’re two planets.’ His voice is still laden with emotion. ‘There’s a close conjunction between Jupiter and Mars tonight.’
‘What’s that?’ I ask.
‘It’s when the planets align. They look like they’re practically on top of each other, but they’re almost three hundred and fifty million miles apart.’
His tone has lifted a little and I realise that my questions might be a welcome distraction.
‘Huh. How interesting. I heard there was a lunar eclipse the night I arrived. Something about a rare spectacular blood moon? I saw pictures of it on TV the next morning.’ I’d woken up early and watched the news. ‘I was a bit gutted to miss it.’
‘You didn’t miss much. It clouded over in the night.’
‘Ah, okay.’ A few seconds pass. ‘The thing I really want to know,’ I say slowly. ‘The thing that has kept me awake at night …’
He tilts his head towards me, waiting.
‘… is how can it be called a full moon if it’s only half a moon that’s lit up?’
He releases a small laugh. ‘Do you really want an answer to that question?’
‘Have you got one?’
‘No.’
