At the sight of her puffy eyes, my insides swell with sympathy. She begins rooting around in her handbag, but I hurriedly get up and grab a box of tissues from the counter, placing them on the table.
‘Thanks.’ She blows her nose, but her eyes continue to leak. She pulls out another tissue.
I have no idea what to say or do. I want to comfort her, but how can I? She’s a stranger, and presumably she’s crying over a man I thought I’d left in my past.
‘I’ve dreaded the day for almost six years,’ she confides in a thick voice.
My heart clenches as she begins to sob. I reach out and touch her back – how can Inot?
‘You must know that you have nothing to worry about,’ I say, wanting to reassure her, because this is insane. ‘We barely know each other. We literally hung out for three days. I’m a gardener, for fuck’s sake.’
She laughs a genuine laugh and leans back in her chair, looking at me directly. Her eyes are light blue and rimmed with red. She’s wearing no make-up, but it’s possible she’s cried it all off.
‘You really have no idea, do you?’ I stare at her, bewildered, as she continues. ‘He was broken when he lost you. While everyone else was grieving for Hugo, Ash was grieving for you. Of course, he was grieving for Hugo too, but that made it so much worse for him. He went to a dark place, and I meandark. I was there. I saw it. I helped him climb out.’ She heaves out a big, shuddering breath. ‘I just can’t believe you’re here. I’ve loved him for so long and we’ve barely given ourselves a chance.’ She starts to cry again as she adds, ‘At least we weren’t engaged. That would have been so much worse.’ Her eyes go wide at the thought.
This is so surreal.
‘I should get out of your way.’ She grabs another tissue as she gets up from the table.
‘I’m still not sure why you came,’ I reply hesitantly as I rise to my feet.
‘I just wanted to meet you. I’m sorry it’s not in better circumstances, but I wanted to say hello before I leave for London.’
‘Wait. You’re going?’
She sniffs and nods as she walks towards the door.
‘You haven’t broken up with Ash?’ I ask with astonishment as I follow her.
‘Sorry, I thought that was obvious,’ she replies as my stomach drops off a ledge. ‘Good luck, Ellie,’ she says as she opens the door and slips her sunglasses back on. ‘Ash is at the ranger’s cabin in the woods. He’s upset right now, but I’m sure you’ll console him.’ She doesn’t even sound bitter.
She walks away, leaving me reeling.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I need time to process what’s just happened, but I don’t have it: Siân arrives home from holiday minutes later. It takes every ounce of strength I have to fix on a smile and pretend that nothing’s out of the ordinary.
‘Hello!’ she exclaims, bustling through the front door.
She’s about five foot three and curvy, with one of the brightest smiles I’ve ever seen.
‘Come here, roomie,’ she says warmly, dropping her carry-on bag to the floor with a thump and opening her arms. ‘Bring it in.’
I laugh and step into her arms.
‘Jesus, you’re tall.’ She releases me and cranes her neck as I straighten up.
Evan has just come in behind her with her suitcase.
‘How was your holiday?’ I ask, somehow managing to throw a lasso around the headfuck of thoughts wreaking havoc on my mind.
‘Too bloody hot. I’m not built for warm weather.’
‘We’ve had a few warm days here too,’ I tell her.
‘Urgh,’ she groans, pushing her hands into her thick dark curls and giving them a shake as she adds, ‘I’ve heard it’s going to be a long, hot summer. You’d better get the sprinkleron me, Evan,’ she calls over her shoulder as she wanders into the kitchen and picks up the kettle.
I like the way she says Evan. Bethan speaks so fast, but Owain – and Siân, it seems – have a slower, more melodic way of speaking. Their syllables are more pronounced, more deliberate-sounding: EV-aan.
