‘That’s your choice. This is mine.’ He nods towards the exit.
But it wasn’t my choice, I think. I’m not interrailing on my own because I wanted to feel free and independent – although I had hoped Iwouldfeel those things when I finally made the decision to go. I’m alone because my best friend couldn’t stick to the deal we made when we were seventeen.
My heart aches later as I text her:I miss you so much.
It’s just another in a long line of messages that have gone unanswered.
CHAPTER TWO
Ash and I agreed to meet at nine for our laundrette run, but at nine thirty the next morning I’m still at reception, with no sign of him. I’m more gutted than I thought I would be, given that I’d prepared myself for disappointment. I knew he’d have no trouble finding someone else to hang out with.
I stare down at my book, feeling miserable. It’s taking monumental willpower not to open it. I want to read the last chapter of the last book Stella lent me tomorrow evening, on my final train journey to the Algarve to meet up with my parents. I thought it would be a symbolic way of rounding off the trip I’d looked forward to with my best friend for years.
Bracing myself against the sudden tightness in my chest, I check my watch. I feel weirdly sick at the thought of not seeing Ash again, but I’m just wasting time now. Doing laundry is already going to eat into too much of my day.
I really don’t want to deal with the shitty comments that I know will come if I meet up with my parents with a bag full of dirty washing, but am I being stupid? Is it worth sacrificing some of my last hours in Lisbon?
To hell with it. I get to my feet just as Ash tears into the lobby.
‘You’re still here,’ he gasps, staring at me with wide, panicked eyes.
My heart flips at the sight of him. He’s clean-shaven, but his hair is a hot mess.
‘I’m so sorry, I don’t have an alarm,’ he quickly explains. ‘I’ve been waking up early, but I couldn’t sleep last night and— Fuck, I’m sorry I’m late.’
‘It’s okay,’ I reply with a grin. ‘I was just about to leave. I’ve decided not to bother with laundry.’
He nods. ‘Can you give me a sec to brush my teeth? I’ve literally rolled out of bed. I showered last night so I’ll be fast. If … I mean, only if you don’t mind me coming with you …’
I shake my head, the knots in my stomach loosening at the sound of his sweet hesitancy.
‘I’ll see you out the front.’
‘I feel so guilty about this,’ I admit with a laugh after the waiter has delivered our drinks and left us to it.
‘I know, but sometimes a person just really needs a spaghetti carbonara,’ Ash replies with a grin, referencing the sudden craving I experienced when we walked past this place.
We’re having lunch at an Italian restaurant on the outer perimeter of the Time Out Market, under big umbrellas in the sunshine.
‘Anyway, we’ve got Portuguese cuisine covered with thepastéis de nata,’ Ash points out, nodding at the paper bag full of custard tarts that’s sitting on the table between us before staring at the colourful outdoor market across the road.
‘See anything you like?’ I ask after a moment.
‘I should probably get a new shirt,’ he replies drily, giving the armpit of yesterday’s apricot T-shirt a quick sniff.
‘I dare you to go Hawaiian.’
He flashes me a grin.
‘Maybe I should buy a new dress,’ I muse aloud as I feel sweat trickle down my back.
‘I really am sorry for oversleeping,’ Ash apologises again as he sits forward and props his elbows on the table. ‘Thanks for waiting for me.’
‘It’s okay,’ I brush him off.
Two guys dressed in bright red, green, yellow and black striped tracksuits bound by outside the restaurant, banging tambourines and shouting. We watch as one starts playing music from a portable stereo before stepping off the pavement to hold back the steady stream of foot traffic while the other backflips along the road.
‘Whoa!’ Ash says as I sit up straighter, clapping along with the bystanders who’ve gathered.
