‘You don’t have a choice!’ I need space to get my head around this.
‘Ellie, please,’ he begs, and something in his tone has me looking over my shoulder at him.
I’ve never seen anyone look so frantic, so distressed. It stays me momentarily.
‘Icannotlet you walk out of my life again,’ he says.
‘I’m not,’ I reply, my head buzzing, my thoughts scattered.
‘Not?’
‘Not walking out of your life.’ I nod down the track before meeting his eyes. ‘I live here.’
A flicker of confusion crosses his features, followed by hope.
‘You live here?’ he repeats.
‘In the workers’ cottages,’ I confirm.
‘Wait.’ He shifts his weight from one leg to another, still staring at me, still uncomprehending. ‘Youworkhere?’
‘In the gardens.’
His expression morphs into wonder, and then a few seconds pass and his eyes soften, the tension in his shoulders loosening.
‘You did it,’ he whispers.
The look on his face unravels something in me. He’s proud, I realise.
My body begins to turn towards him.
But I don’t even know who this man is. He has no right to feel proud of me or my achievements.
‘Go back to your girlfriend,Ashton,’ I say bitterly.
This time, he lets me go.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I only realise how much I’m still trembling when I can’t get the key into the lock. It takes several attempts, but once the door is open, I rush inside, beyond thankful that Siân is away.
I can’t believe it. How is Ash aBerkeley? He’s the son of aviscount, for fuck’s sake!
I sink down on the sofa, shaking from head to toe. I feel as though all the blood has drained from my body.
How can I have found Ash and lost him in the same moment? It’s overwhelming.
But then it hits me like a ton of bricks.
ThatwasAsh. And Ihavefound him, even if he’s not who I thought he was.
I’ve replayed our time together over and over in my mind. I opened up my heart to him in a way that I’d never opened up my heart to anyone, before or since. We confided in each other. Was any of it real? It was for me. But what else did he lie about?
We shared stories about our parents, talked about our hopes and dreams – was it all just bullshit? Did he even study astronomy and physics at university?
We laughed so much together, but was he laughingatme?
I remember every single minute of our time together on that beach, and every single second of what it felt like when his lips were on mine. I remember the feeling of his body beneath and on top of me.
