‘What did you agree with the acquisition team to enable her to stay there?’
‘She’s the last generation of Berkeleys who will live at Berkeley Hall. When she has passed, the living quarters will be subsumed into the rest of the house.’
‘So you haven’t actually changed the way she has to live her life.’
‘No. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t lay on a massive guilt trip every time I see her, though. She’s upset that I’ve denied my children and their children and their children their rights to the house. She doesn’t think I get it now, but she’s sure I will once I have a family of my own.’
I might be with his mother on this one. It’s a concern for me too. Has the enormity of what he’s done truly sunk in?
‘I’m sure she’ll change the record eventually,’ I try to reassure him. ‘She really hoped I was bringing news of you.’
‘Shows how out of touch she is,’ he says sardonically.
‘I’m sure she misses you.’
‘What’s the status of your relationship withyourparents?’ he asks.
‘That’s a much bigger conversation,’ I reply. ‘Iwillfill you in,’ I promise seriously. ‘I know I’ve been reluctant to talk about them in the past, but I’ve been seeing a counsellor and I feel quite positive. I have so much to tell you, but not now.’
‘Okay,’ he replies with an accepting nod. And then he grabs my wrist and looks towards the treetops.
Hundreds, no,thousandsof starlings are taking flight.
‘Is this what you meant by a murmuration?’ I ask with amazement.
It’s sonoisy!
He nods. ‘It’s named after the sound all their wings make.’ He has to raise his voice to be heard.
I watch with wonder as the birds gather like a giant black cloud above our heads, swooping and swirling into spheres, planes and waves, a moving picture across the clear blue sky.
The noise levels fade the further away they fly.
‘It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. God, Ash, you’re so lucky living here.’
‘I’m not at all convinced you’d love it full-time,’ he replies with trepidation.
‘Give me the week. I already feel pretty sure that this lifestyle would suit me to a T, but after a week maybe you’ll trust that I can handle it too. You might even fall a little bit in love with me,’ I tease with a smile, showing him my finger and thumb hovering a centimetre apart.
‘I’m already in love with you, Ellie,’ he replies gently.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Going to bed with him that night feels different. We’ve both committed to taking things slowly so there’s no chance of us reconnecting physically, but I feel as though I’m lying next to Ash tonight –myAsh. He’s no longer a stranger to me.
I’m facing his way when he climbs into bed and this time we mirror each other’s body positions, our heads on our pillows, staring into each other’s eyes. I’ve noticed he can look at me again now for extended periods of time. It’s everything.
He reaches out and lays his hand between us. I follow his lead and do the same. Our palms fit together like they were made for each other.
‘Goodnight,’ he whispers.
‘Goodnight,’ I reply with a smile.
We fall asleep like that.
The next day, I receive an email telling me that the boots I ordered yesterday have been successfully delivered. When I come out of the bathroom after showering, I find my bike helmet and armoured gear laid out on the bed.
‘You said you’d given it away!’ I exclaim.
