He doesn’t.
The next day everything goes even further downhill. I walk into the Mess Room at break time and every single one of the gardeners – Evan, Harri, BethanandOwain – stops talking.
Bethan looks at me, her expression cagey. Harri and Owain avert their gazes and Evan shoves his hand through his hair, turning his back on me and draining his tea.
‘What’s going on?’ I ask carefully.
‘Is it true?’ Bethan asks.
‘Is what tr—’
She cuts me off. ‘You and Ash?’
My ribcage feels constricted. Harri tentatively lifts his gaze to watch my reaction. Owain keeps his averted.
I don’t need to say a word. The look on my face answers her question.
‘Wow,’ she says flatly.
‘How did you find out?’
Evan lets out a humourless laugh and walks right past me, out the door. Owain releases a long, heavy sigh and follows him. Harri and Bethan are the only ones who remain, and neither of them looks happy.
‘People talk,’ Bethan says tightly.
‘Do you know that he’s gone to London to see Beca?’ Harri asks, and there’s something mean about his tone, as though he wants to twist a knife.
‘Yes.’
‘Well, good luck to you,’ Bethan says flippantly, unsmiling. ‘It’s the first time Ash has got with a member of staff, apparently.’
I feel so sick that I turn and leave, returning immediately to my cottage. There’s no way I can finish the day’s work.
This is my worst nightmare. And Ash is not here to support me.
People know about us, I text him, my fingers shaking so much that I have to retype the words three times before I can get it right.
I keep a close eye on my phone for the next few hours, but he still hasn’t replied by the time Siân comes home at five thirty. I’m upstairs on my bed, feeling wobbly and weird, and she comes straight to my door.
‘Yes,’ I call when she knocks.
She opens the door, her face ashen. ‘What the hell?’
‘Please don’t start,’ I reply unsteadily, sitting up on the bed.
‘How on earth did it happen? Hugo had a reputation for sleeping with staff, but never Ash. I thought he was different.’
‘Heisdifferent!’ I snap, but from her dubious expression, she thinks I’m delusional.
Ash should be here for this. He’s the one who should be making it clear to everyone that this is not some sordid affair. I just want to get away, but nowhere is safe. Could I hide out in his cabin until he returns? Would anyone have a spare key? Celyn?
Siân follows me as I hurry downstairs and out the back door. There, on the lawn, is Celyn himself, along with Bethan,Harri, Evan, Dylan and Jac, having a lovely big chinwag at my expense.
They all turn to look at me, their expressions wary.
‘I’ve known him foryears!’ I cry. ‘We havehistory!’
‘What history?’ Siân asks, confused.
