Chas claims he’s feeling a bit better by the time I leave Seaglass to walk up to the village via Michael’s house. It’s a windy and overcast day, though thankfully no rain is forecast, and when Michael and I reach the bakery on the corner, we see that the colourful bunting lining the buildings along the high street is straining against its fixings, fluttering wildly. The streets are already packed with people waiting for the procession to arrive.
Michael’s face is radiant with expectation. He loves the carnival. I keep encouraging him to take part, but he shakes his head violently at every suggestion, which is why I’m standing here on the sidelines, keeping him company.
That’s what I keep telling myself, and it’s what I tell my friends too, when they try to bully me into joining one of the floats, bands or dance troupes, but the truth is, the thought of all those eyes on me brings on a cold sweat.
It’s why I was surprised at how much I enjoyed exhibiting my art back in May. It was the first time I’d shown my work since university. I guess talking about art is the one thing I can do.
‘Here comes Bolster!’ Michael exclaims as the sound of far-off drumbeats fills the air. I’m standing behind him and he’s jumping on the spot, his head turned excitedly towards the street where the procession will appear. I can hear anticipation in the chatter of the children and adults around us.
When two hands cover my eyes, I almost jump out of my skin. I spin round, bashing slightly into the offender’s chest, and almost keel over when I see Finn standing there, his dimples out in force.
‘Oh my God!’ I squeal. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Thought I’d surprise you,’ he says as Michael turns around, spies him and does a dramatic eye roll before returning his attention to the street.
‘Hey, Michael, how are you doing?’ Finn asks affably.
‘Bolster’s coming,’ he replies in a monotone voice.
Last summer, after Finn left, Michael came over and saw me in tears.
It wasn’t the first time this had happened.
‘I don’t like the way he upsets you,’ he said.
‘Who?’ I asked, because I hadn’t offered an explanation as to why I was crying.
‘Finn.’
My brother is more astute than I sometimes give him credit for and suddenly it made sense why he still had it in for Finn after so much time. We had a bit of a heart-to-heart about it and I tried to reassure him, but he’s clearly still feeling protective.
‘Ty! Liam!’ Finn shouts out across the heads of the peoplepacked outside the bakery. He waves enthusiastically, trying to get his brothers’ attention. ‘Come here!’
Satisfied that they’re making their way over, he turns back to Michael and me.
‘When did you get here?’ I ask.
‘Last night.’
Why didn’t he give me any warning?
‘Look, look, look,’ Michael interrupts, tugging on my sleeve.
Bolster appears around the corner behind the drum band, a lumbering twenty-eight-foot-tall puppet, and I let out a laugh at the sight of Dan, dressed in what appears to be an old potato sack, manhandling one of its arms at the end of a long pole.
‘Priceless,’ Finn mutters with a grin, placing his hands lightly on my hips from behind. ‘Missed you,’ he says in a low, deep voice, directly into my ear.
My insides are a crazed, jittery mess.
‘I missed you too,’ I reply, but I can’t meet his eyes. ‘I take it you’re single?’
He stiffens. ‘Yes. You?’
I nod.
I went on a date last month, but there was no spark. Or at least, if therewasa spark, it was so muted compared to the burning desire I feel for Finn that I simply couldn’t be bothered. I’ve been too busy to date, anyway.
I feel him relax again as he steps a little closer, splaying one hand across my stomach.
