He’s staring out at the blackness, but my eyes never leave his face.
‘You’re too young for me.’
‘I’m not.’
‘I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.’ He glances at me sideways and I regard him seriously.
‘I love you.’ There. I’ve said it.
He doesn’t speak for a while, then he reaches up and tugs at his hair. ‘You don’t. You don’t know what you’re saying. It’s just a crush. You’ll get over it.’
‘I won’t. It’s not a crush, Ben. I love you. And I know you love me too.’ I suddenly feel like I’m having another out-of-body experience. I can’t quite believe I’m saying this to him. And then I’m back in the present again.
‘I don’t love you,’ he says.
‘You do.’
‘I don’t.’
‘You do.’ I’m not giving in.
He drags his eyes to meet mine and I know I’ve broken him. ‘It couldn’t work,’ he whispers.
I reach over and take his hand. The butterflies go haywire in my stomach.
‘No one would have to know.’
‘No, no.’ He abruptly pulls his hand away and stands up.
‘You could wait for me!’ I cry in sudden desperation. I thought I was getting somewhere.
‘No.’ He shakes his head resolutely. ‘This is crazy. I don’t know what’s come over me. I’m not normally like this.’
‘Please, Ben!’
‘Lily, no. You need to stop this.Now. I have to go.’
I stand up and clutch onto his arm in anguish. ‘No!’
‘Lily, please,’ he begs, shaking me free. I’ve never seen such pain on anyone’s face and I hate knowing I’ve caused it, but I can’t give up. A man and a woman appear around the corner, arm-in-arm. They momentarily halt when they see us. We force shaky smiles at them and say hello as they pass, and then we’re alone again.
‘How did you get here?’ Ben asks suddenly.
‘I drove.’
Shock mixed with anger appears on his face. ‘You drove?’
‘I know I shouldn’t have.’
‘Lily, what the hell did you think you were doing?’
‘Ben, don’t be angry!’ I cry.
‘Who do you think you are?Josh? You could have got yourself killed!’
‘I know, I know. But I’m a good driver – I drove carefully!’
‘You’re not that good.’
