Unsurprisingly, my bravado doesn’t last until the following morning when Michael and I set off for work. I’m trying to come up with ways to avoid Ben all day, but he’s right there in the staffroom when we arrive.
‘How was your day off?’ Michael asks him, leaving me to attend to our teas in peace. I’m grateful to have something to do.
‘Yeah, alright, thanks,’ Ben replies.
‘Do you want one?’ I find myself asking Ben.I will not be bowed by you!And then I nearly crack up giggling at the sound of my own melodrama.
‘Er, sure,’ Ben replies, looking taken aback at the sight of me on the verge of hysteria.
That’s right, buster, I say to myself. I willnotbe bowed by you! I’m still fighting off the urge to laugh when I pass him his tea.
‘Thanks.’
‘Cheers!’ I say chirpily and chink mugs with him and Michael. They look at each other like they think I’ve gone mad.
‘Might pop outside for some fresh air,’ I tell them, swiftly making an exit.
I take a deep breath and exhale loudly as I wander down the path away from the staffroom, my mug of hot tea still in my hand. I pause in front of some birdcages and stare through the wire at a Bush Stone-curlew. Its huge, inquisitive-looking eyes stare back at me. There’s something almost childlike about these birds.
Approaching footsteps make me turn my head towards the curve in the path and my hands begin to tremble as I see Ben round the corner. I quickly force myself to take a sip of my tea to give myself something to do.
‘Hey,’ he says.
‘Hello.’
‘How’s it going?’ To his credit, he’s trying to sound upbeat.
‘Fine.’
‘Are you coming to help out with the koalas today?’
‘Um, not sure.’
‘Okay.’ He presses his forehead with his thumb. ‘I could do with the help. Two of the koalas are on the Heinz diet at the moment.’
That means they’re underweight. We feed them pumpkin and sweetcorn baby food – the one in a can – when their weight continues to fall.
‘Oh, right.’
‘Lily, I—’
‘Yes, what the hell,’ I interrupt. ‘Count me in.’
He smiles with relief. ‘Cool. Good. See you there in a minute, yeah?’
‘As soon as I finish my tea.’ Slurp.
‘Cool,’ he repeats.
And then he’s gone. I sigh heavily.
As the day goes on, the awkwardness between us begins to fade. Humiliation had temporarily dulled my feelings for him, but as my embarrassment fades, the pain in my heart starts to return. I can’t believe he’s going to the other side of the world to get married to someone else. I must try harder not to think about it.
‘What are you doing on New Year’s Eve?’ Ben asks as we wander back to the staffroom at five o’clock.
‘I don’t know yet. Josh and his mates are going to a club in Adelaide, but I don’t want to risk getting asked for ID. They’re a bit tighter on that down in the city.’
‘Mmm, they are.’
