‘I’m going to crash here tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I say again, but he ends the call.
I cry myself to sleep that night. In the morning my eyes are so red and puffy that I can barely open them. I want to call in sick, but Ben’s words keep ringing in my head.
‘You can’t mess this up.’
I put on my make-up in a trance and go into work early. Nicola is on reception when I arrive.
‘How are you?’ she asks gently. I bite my lip at the concern on her face and say, ‘I’ll fill you in later. I need to get upstairs before I crumble again.’
‘Alright,’ she says, and I have to fight back tears at her expression. I hurry over to the lift and press the button, trying to think about something else.
Once in the office, I put my head down and try to act professional, but it damn near kills me. I call Richard at lunchtime, but he’s at work and doesn’t want to talk to me.
‘Will you be home tonight?’ I can’t keep the pleading tone from my voice.
‘I think so,’ he replies.
‘I’ll see you later?’
‘I have to go.’ Again he ends the call.
I don’t know how I get through the rest of the day, but at five o’clock Jonathan calls me into his office. I wonder nervously what it’s about. I thought I’d managed to do a pretty good job of keeping my head above water.
‘Take a seat.’
I do as he says.
‘This is a bit premature because I haven’t told the team yet, but Kip, our picture assistant, is leaving.’
Despite my predicament, my heart lifts ever so slightly.
‘It’s company policy to conduct interviews, but Bronte has already expressed her interest and I think she’d be the perfect candidate for the job.’
I nod.
‘Which means we’ll need a new editorial assistant.’
I hold my breath.
‘Keep it under your hat for now, but I hope you’ll apply. I know Debbie is coming back soon so you’ll no doubt be keeping your eyes open for something, and I’d really like to see you back here with us. On a permanent basis.’
I can’t help but smile.
‘Would you like that?’ he checks.
‘Absolutely,’ I reply.
‘Good. But like I said, keep it under your hat for now.’
‘I won’t breathe a word.’
Two hours later, I’m back in the real world. Richard can barely look at me as he comes through the front door. I have a sudden overwhelming desire to have things revert to normal so I can share my news with him, but there’s no going back now.
‘I didn’t know if you were going to come home,’ I say feebly.
‘Neither did I,’ he mutters.
