‘I don’t know.’ I avert my eyes.
‘Hey.’ He reaches down and takes my hand. ‘You can tell me.’
I look up at him, at the concern on his face. His hand is warm in mine. Yes, it makes me feel jittery, but it’s also reassuring.
‘I don’t know what I’m doing,’ I admit.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I know nothing about taking pictures.’
‘But that’s the point of getting a camera, so you can learn.’
I stare at him warily. ‘I think I might be deluding myself.’
‘No, you’re not.’ He shakes his head adamantly. ‘Lily, you have something. It may be raw talent, but everyone has to start somewhere. Why don’t you do a photography course?’
A spark of hope fills up my insides. Yes, I could do a course! But the spark just as quickly dims again.
‘I still think I’m deluding myself.’
‘You’renot,’ he insists, squeezing my hand. ‘Trust me.’
I stare right back at him and take a large breath. ‘Okay.’
‘Good,’ he says. ‘Let’s go.’
He drops my hand and I follow him, fighting the urge to grasp hold of it again.
I buy a camera on my credit card, and I’m practically bursting with excitement and delight as Ben walks me back to the office.
‘I’m going to look into courses this afternoon,’ I promise him. ‘I can’t wait to play with this tonight.’ There’s such a spring in my step, you’d think I’m wearing trainers, not high heels.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.’
It’s true. I haven’t felt this happy for a long time. We reach the side of my building and I stop and beam up at him.
‘Hey, I haven’t seen your photos,’ Ben remembers. ‘Do you have time?’
‘I can go back five minutes late,’ I reply, getting the pack out of my bag and handing them over. He leans up against the building and comments on various shots as he goes. He agrees with me that I missed a trick with the sailboat photo.
‘Josh distracted me,’ I say, peering over his shoulder.
‘Ah, was this the weekend he was here?’
‘Yeah. Look, there he is.’ I point at the next shot of Josh having a pint at a bar near the Opera House. ‘He didn’t bring his camera so you’ll have to excuse the next few tourist shots. I promised I’d send them to him.’
Ben studies the photo of Josh. ‘Still looks the same,’ he murmurs, then he glances at me. ‘Did anything ever happen between you?’
‘Nope,’ I reply, then before I can stop myself: ‘Would it have bothered you if it had?’
He turns his attention back to the pack. ‘You know it would have.’
There are photos of my family in there, but none, thankfully, of Richard. It hasn’t occurred to me to take any of him, bizarrely.
Eventually Ben comes to the one of him on the boat. He gives me a playful look.
‘You don’t want this one, do you?’
