Mostly.
Yesterday I got my photos developed. I couldn’t concentrate on the shots I’d taken over the last couple of weeks because I was so jittery about seeing the one of Ben on the boat. My heart stopped when I finally came to it in the pack. He looked so gorgeous. He had only a slight smile on his face because I hadn’t given him time to pose, but his blue eyes stood out against the grey sea behind him. It was perfect.
In a half-wakeful state this morning, I dreamt that we were in the cabin of his boat together . . . Then Richard rolled up against me with a morning stiffie and I couldnothelp it. I couldn’t.
After I’d come down from a mindblowing orgasm, Richard chuckled. ‘Is it your randy time of the month or something?’ he asked.
‘Must be,’ I replied, getting out of bed and going to the bathroom with a red face. I sat on the toilet with my chin in my hands. I’d imagined it was Ben the entire time. I hated myself.
And now here I am at work, sitting alongside Mel and trying to concentrate.
‘She’s got that far-off look in her eyes again,’ Mel says, grinning.
‘More wedding-dress shopping this week?’ Nicola enquires.
‘Not if I can help it,’ I shudder.
My family are going to the Snowy Mountains, which are about a five-hour drive from Sydney. They’re staying there for a couple of days so I’m not seeing them again until Thursday. Which means that for the next couple of days, I have free lunchbreaks.
I need to see him.
I push my stool out from under the desk, saying, ‘Anyone for tea?’
‘Are you making it?’ Mel asks dryly.
‘Idomake tea occasionally, you know.’
‘No, thanks. I’m going to pop out for a coffee in a minute,’ Nicola tells me.
‘I’m alright, too,’ Mel says. ‘I’ve only just finished the last cup. What’s up with you? Not pregnant, are you?’
‘No!’ I exclaim. ‘Why would you say that?’
‘Cravings?’
‘Please, stop. There is no way I’m having a kid anytime soon.’
‘Give it two years.’ Nicola nudges Mel. ‘Honeymoon baby, that’s what I reckon.’
I roll my eyes and walk away, my fingers clutching the phone I surreptitiously pulled out of my bag. In the kitchen I start to text Ben, then I give up and call him instead. I don’t want to wait for a text to come back. My stomach flutters with nerves as the phone rings and rings. I’m about to hang up because I don’t want to leave a message and then he answers. He sounds breathless.
‘What have you been doing?’ I ask, smiling.
‘I was wrestling with a joey.’
‘Joey koala or joey kangaroo?’
‘Kangaroo.’
‘What are you doing with the kangaroos?’
‘Just the usual check-ups. This one didn’t want to co-operate.’
‘Oh dear,’ I sympathise. ‘So you’re at work today?’
‘Yes, why?’
My heart sinks. ‘I hoped you might have the day off. I wondered if you’d like to meet me for lunch.’
