I put my half-eaten sandwich to one side. ‘Did you leave on bad terms?’
‘Not really. But we weren’t exactly the best of friends, either. No point in dragging it out.’
‘Is she with anyone else?’
‘She’s had a couple of boyfriends, as far as I know. I don’t think any of them have been serious. Don’t you ever eat much?’ He nods at my sandwich.
‘Yeah. I do have an appetite, just not when I’m with you.’
‘Do I put you off your food?’
I give him a look of pretend distaste. ‘Yeah, you do a bit.’
‘Huh!’ he grumbles, and I laugh. ‘Did you bring your camera today?’
‘I did, actually.’ I bend down and pull my bag up onto the seat, getting out my old friend.
He smiles. ‘Have you thought about getting a smaller one?’
‘I should switch to digital,’ I concede. ‘But I’ve only just got back into it. I wouldn’t know where to start.’
‘We should do some research on the internet. Go camera shopping.’
I love his use of the term ‘we’.
‘That’s a good idea.’
‘So what made you want to start taking pictures again?’
I don’t answer immediately, then I shrug. ‘Not sure.’
I’m not about to tell him it was because my boyfriend proposed and it made Ben seem even more lost to me than he already was. I had to do something to bring him back.
And now he’s here. Literally – and not just metaphorically.
What if I hadn’t gone to the zoo? It’s inconceivable that I could have continued living in this city oblivious of his existence. Where would my life have taken me? At least I’m not already married. If I think being engaged is bad, marriage would have been much, much worse.
‘What are you thinking?’ Ben asks. I’m still staring down at the camera in my hands. I impulsively put the viewfinder to my eye and click off a shot of him.
‘You could have warned me first!’ he jokes irately.
‘What would you have done – nipped below to check your hair?’ I tease. I lean up against the side of the boat and rest the camera on my lap. ‘You know, I never got a photo of you before. It made me sad when you left,’ I tell him honestly. ‘Do you still have the photo of me?’
He nods. ‘Yeah.’
‘Did you take it to England with you?’
He gives me a sardonic look. ‘No.’
‘That would have been a bit shitty of you,’ I agree.
‘I put it in the loft at Nan’s house with some other things,’ he tells me. ‘It’s still there.’
I’m sort of disappointed he hasn’t got it out again. He must be able to read this on my face because he says quietly, ‘I had to try to forget you, Lily.’
‘Even when you came back?’
‘Even when I came back.’
