‘So you did.’ I manage a weak smile. ‘Did you know Michael got married to The Map Bearer?’
‘The what?’ He looks confused.
I giggle. ‘Janine. It’s a nickname I gave her on my first day at the conservation park.’
He chuckles. ‘Yes, I did know that. I go back to Adelaide occasionally to check in on Nan’s house.’
‘Who lives there now?’ I ask curiously.
‘It’s being rented to friends of friends,’ he explains. Aha! ‘A family is in it at the moment.’
‘Would you ever go back to Adelaide permanently?’ I ask.
‘Oh, I’ll definitely end up there eventually. It’s home.’
In a funny kind of way, it still feels like my home, too.
‘What about you?’ he asks. ‘Would you ever move back?’
‘I have some good friends there, but no, I don’t think so. Mum’s here, and I have other . . .friendshere. And my career, you know?’
‘Tell me about your job.’
‘I’m only temping.’
‘I know, you said that before. You’re a receptionist?’
‘Yes.’ I feel small all of a sudden. ‘It’s good fun,’ I say weakly.
‘Cool.’
‘I feel like I’ve let you down,’ I blurt out.
‘What? What do you mean?’
‘You expected so much from me.’
‘Lily! I haven’t been around for the last decade – how can you possibly feel like you’ve letmedown?’
‘I just do.’
‘Well, you haven’t. I only ever wanted you to be happy.’
His eyes meet mine over the table and this time I can’t look away. My head starts to prickle again and the room begins to spin. A waitress interrupts us with our mains.
‘Thank you.’ I lean back as she places a bowl of ravioli with sage butter in front of me. Ben has opted for a pepper steak.
‘Tell me what happened afteryouleft,’ I find the courage to ask.
He glances up at me, then returns his attention to his food. ‘I went to England and got married.’
‘No kids?’How can I have not asked this already?
‘No.’
I can breathe again.
‘Charlotte couldn’t,’ he adds, and my heart plummets. So if they had been successful in that area, they never would have got divorced. ‘But that’s not why we broke up,’ he continues.
