‘Can we drive past the conservation park?’
‘That’s it there.’ I point to the boundary fence.
‘What’s that?’ he asks, looking up towards the top of the hills.
‘Carminow Castle.’
‘Can we go up there?’
‘Okay.’ I admit defeat. ‘I’ll take you up to Mount Lofty to see the view.’ I cannot believe I’m doing this.
‘Nice!’ Richard breathes, gazing down at the city and the ocean beyond it. I brought him through the lobby, somehow finding the willpower to resist the side of the building that looks down on Piccadilly Valley. Even here though, I’m haunted by a vision of dark-blue eyes staring into mine in the darkness.
My phone starts to ring, rousing me from my reverie. I dig it out of my bag and peer at the caller ID.
‘Hi, Josh.’
‘Hey, you’re back.’
Richard glances at me and I indicate that I’ll take the call away from the crowds. He nods in understanding so I wander off slowly.
‘Only for the funeral.’
‘I know. Terrible, isn’t it?’
‘Awful. Kev always seemed so full of life. Is Shane okay?’ I look over, and when I see that Richard is reading one of the information plaques, I continue walking.
‘He’s pretty cut up,’ Josh answers. ‘Have you spoken to Tammy?’
‘Not yet. I’ll try her later.’
‘What are you up to this arvo?’
‘I’m giving Richard a tour of the hills. We’ve just been to see your dad, actually.’
‘I know – he called me.’
‘Aah, so that’s how you knew we were here.’
‘That’s right. Do you fancy meeting me in Stirling for a quick drink? Tina might be able to get off work.’
‘Sure, but I thought your garage was in Mount Barker?’
‘It is, but I need to take one of the cars for a spin. I can pop out for an hour.’
‘What about Tina?’
‘She works in the hairdresser’s in Stirling. I’ll give her a buzz now to see if she can take a break. See you at the pub in half an hour?’
‘Perfect.’ I end the call and stare down at the rolling hills of Piccadilly Valley, speckled with green and grey gums. This is where I told him I loved him. Did he ever tell me he loved me? No. Did he love me?
Did you?
His eyes stare back at me inside my mind, but he doesn’t answer.
It’s almost as though I expect some epiphany to come to me, standing here. Something to tell me what to do. But there’s nothing. My heart says nothing. I turn and walk back to join Richard.
I don’t mean to drive past Ben’s house, really I don’t, but somehow we end up taking a detour on the way to Stirling. As we approach I spy a red Suzuki parked on his drive and my whole body stiffens. I slow down and stare out of Richard’s side of the car, painfully alert. And then the door opens and a woman walks out. She has curly dark hair and is wearing a long, tie-dyed maxi dress. I see the tiny hands of a small child wrap around her legs from behind and then we’ve passed them and I sit bolt upright in shock and stare out of the rearview mirror.
