‘I don’t know. I forget to tie my own shoelaces most days.’
We smile at each other, neither of us looking away as the seconds tick by.
‘Why didn’t you come to say goodbye?’ I blurt, the words spilling out of my mouth of their own volition.
He sounds bleak when he replies. ‘I couldn’t face another one.’
‘It wasn’t long enough, was it?’ That time we spent in Sydney.
‘It’s never long enough,’ he mutters. He sounds frustrated as he continues. ‘I can’t believe you’re going back in two days. Why didn’t you tell me when you were coming?’
I sigh. ‘To be honest, I wasn’t sure I could face seeing you.’
He flinches.
‘It’s just… Things have felt pretty raw recently,’ I say.
He nods and reaches for his pint. ‘I understand.’
‘Tell me about your business,’ I say as he drinks, abruptly changing the subject. ‘How do you know Neal?’
After a bit, we order a couple of bar snacks, and later we get a couple more. I think I could stay there all night in that cosy pub, chatting and drinking, but I know I need to get to Rachel’s.
‘Jesus, it’s already six thirty!’ I exclaim, when I finally pull out my phone to check the time.
We share a mutual look of dismay.
‘It’s going to be a long way back to Polly’s couch,’ I say with a sigh.
‘Where does she live now?’
‘Croydon, south London.’
‘That’s miles away!’ He looks alarmed. ‘Why aren’t you staying at Rachel’s?’
‘I didn’t want to ask. Her boyfriend has just moved in and…’ I shrug. ‘It’s not a big deal. Tube and train. I’ll be fine.’
The atmosphere in the car feels heavier on the drive to Rachel’s. I don’t want to part company yet. It still feels too soon. There’s so much we haven’t said, so much ground we haven’t covered. I don’t even know what else Iwantto say, but I have this overwhelming urge just tobewith him.
He pulls up outside Rachel’s and cuts the ignition, tilting his chin in my direction without looking at me.
I don’t make any move to get out of the car.
He groans suddenly and drags his hands across his face, then looks at me properly.
‘I have a spare room,’ he says.
I jolt with surprise.
‘I could go to the pub, do some work and wait for you.’ He pauses for my answer.
‘Are you sure?’ I ask in a small voice.
His face lights up with his smile. ‘Yes, I’m sure,’ he breathes with relief, tension visibly leaving his body. ‘What time should I come back?’
‘In an hour or two? Can I text you?’
We exchange numbers, but he doesn’t drive away until Rachel has answered her door.
