I went back and forth between Bude and London for the next six months, but eventually accepted that we were never going to work. Beau was so chilled, and in many ways I loved that – I didn’t expect him to change, and he sure as hell wasn’t planning to – but I didn’t really respect him. Sometimes he came across as just plain lazy, and I guess I like guys with more ambition.
We amicably parted ways. But I’ve always thought of him fondly. He came into my life when I really needed it – a great big plaster for my Seth and Mum wound.
We head back to Charlie’s after lunch, but Adam sticks around, and in the middle of the afternoon I wander downstairs to get a drink. The telly is on in the living room, so I poke my head around the door to see what’s up.
Charlie and Adam are sprawled out on the two sofas watching the Formula 1 qualifying. Charlie cranes his head to look up at me.
‘We’re going to get a takeaway tonight and watch a movie,’ he says. ‘You in?’
‘Sure!’ I love the idea.
‘What do you feel like? Indian? Thai? Chinese?’
‘I don’t mind. Thai?’ It feels appropriate.
He glances at his brother. ‘That okay?’
Adam shrugs. ‘I’m cool with anything.’
Later, Adam heads out to collect the food while Charlie puts April to bed. I’m at a bit of a loose end, so I go and stand in the doorway of the bathroom while April’s in the bath.
‘Can I do anything?’ I ask Charlie. He’s kneeling on the floor beside the bath.
‘You can pass me her towel. It’s the white one hanging behind the door.’
He lifts his daughter out of the bath and I wrap the towel around her. He snuggles her up against him. I lead the way into her bedroom.
‘Babygrow?’ I ask, going to her top drawer.
‘Nappy first,’ he replies with a warm smile. I think he likes me helping, and for some reason I’ve been struck with an unfamiliar compulsion to do just that.
I get a nappy out and open it up, placing it on her change station.
‘Can I do it?’ I ask, as Charlie lays April on top of the nappy. He glances at me with surprise, but steps out of the way.
I’ve watched him change plenty of nappies, but it’s harder than it looks. He chuckles and comes to my aid after two lopsided attempts.
‘She has to go right in the centre, otherwise she’ll leak,’ he explains. He looks around. ‘Where’s her babygrow?’
‘Here.’
Again, an inexplicable urge to help overcomes me. April looks up at me and smiles, chattering away happily as I insert one foot and then the other into her babygrow. Charlie folds his arms and watches, entertained, as I try to button it up.
No, that’s not right...
I furrow my brow, trying to work out where I went wrong. I seem to be out of poppers to press, but there’s still a floppy bit of material here.
‘You’d better do it.’ I admit defeat.
‘The ones around her nappy still confuse me sometimes,’ he confesses, even though he seems to know exactly what to do.
‘She could do with a mobile over her cot,’ I note as I fold down her cot sheet. Maybe I could get one for her birthday. And then I have a brainwave. ‘Actually, could you turn that sea glass into a mobile?’
He raises his eyebrows, thinking. ‘That’s a really nice idea. I wonder if I could make it work...’
‘Bummer, there goes my present idea,’ I joke, looking around her room for more inspiration. What else does she need? I’ll have to put my thinking cap on.
‘Night-night, then,’ I say, leaving them to it as Charlie lays April in her cot.
