‘Is that so awful?’ I cast him an imploring look.
Please don’t judge me...
‘No, it’s just surprising, that’s all.’ He seems thrown.
‘I don’t really like talking about it.’
‘Fair enough,’ he replies, but I know I’ve unimpressed him. Is that even a verb?
Maybe it’s my imagination, but there’s a tension between us after that. I’m gutted. I wish he’d kept his questions to himself.
Chapter 26
If Charlie likes me less after my ‘no kids’ revelation, then he seems to be over it by the next day.
‘Adam’s coming this way for a pub lunch. Will you join us?’ he asks amiably when I turn up on Saturday morning. ‘We’re only going into Padstow.’
‘I’d love to. Are you sure?’
‘Absolutely.’
I exhale with relief. I couldn’t get to sleep last night because I was mulling over our conversation at Heligan. I don’t know why it got to me – why should I care what he thinks? And why should he care what I want from my life anyway? But I had this horrible feeling that I’d offended him, and, regardless of whether or not itshould’vebothered me, it did. Now I can see that I overreacted.
I go upstairs and crack on with my notes, pausing only when I hear the doorbell ring. It perks me up no end seeing Adam again. He has such a cheerful disposition. He seems happy to see me, too.
Half an hour later, we stroll into Padstow, choosing a different pub from the one we spent most of the evening at last Friday. This venue is further around the corner past the harbour, but it has a beautiful sea view, and we keep getting wafts of sugary cinnamon smells from the donut van just across the road. We got here early enough to snag an outdoor table – a bit of a feat for the last Bank Holiday weekend in August.
‘I’ve been reading your blog,’ Adam says, with a nod across the table at me.
‘Have you?’ I ask, pleased and surprised that he’d bother.
‘Jesus, some of those comments arevicious,aren’t they?’ He looks horrified and I’m instantly tense.
I try very hard not to think about the trolls, so I don’t like reminders.
‘What do you mean?’ Charlie asks, whipping his head around to stare at his brother. They’re sitting side by side on a bench seat.
‘I’m not sure I want to repeat them.’ Adam raises his eyebrows at me.
‘No, don’t.’ I hastily shake my head as Charlie looks between us. I don’t want Adam to say those things out loud. Not here, not now, not ever, actually.
Slag...
Those men are pathetic for even looking at you...
I inwardly cringe. ‘It’s fine,’ I lie. ‘Water off a duck’s back.’ I wave Adam away. ‘I don’t even read the bad ones.’
But the ones that catch my eye are ingrained in my mind forever.
You give women a bad name...
Who the hell do you think you are?
‘I’m glad to hear it,’ Adam says. ‘Christ, I was a bit gobsmacked. I expected it to be all hearts and flowers and soppy shit, not like that. People can bemean.And it’s not even just the girls, is it? The guys are venomous, too.’
Stupid bitch...
Filthy slut......
