It began with Freddie, continued through my time with Vince and came back to bite me squarely on the butt with Liam.
But Liam was the one that hurt the most. I still find it hard to think about him without my stomach twisting into a knot.
I’m so grateful Elliot and I have our ‘no kids’ policy in common. He’s a keeper, that’s for sure.
‘I read your Dillon account,’ he tells me.
‘What did you think?’
‘It was great. Loved the slowest-horse-in-the-world bit coupled with the chattiest cart driver.’
This comment puts me on edge. It’s a slightly unusual anecdote for him to pull out for special attention. ‘Did you think the Dillon bit was okay?’
‘Yeah.’ He nods. ‘It was really well written. It’ll make a good chapter.’
I frown at him. ‘Are you all right?’ He seems a bit reserved with his compliments.
‘I’m fine,’ he insists.
‘Youarestill happy about me doing this blog, aren’t you?’ Worry has begun to eat me up.
‘Of course I am,’ he insists. ‘I don’t dig the idea of him trying to shag you, and obviously I’d rather he wasn’t still in love with you—’
‘He’s not still in love with me,’ I scoff.
‘Sounded like it. But it’s cool, I’m not worried.’
‘Good, because you shouldn’t be.’
He grins at me, and I feel an intense stab of frustration because we can’t make eye contact.
‘Can you look straight into the camera lens for a moment?’ I ask him, desperate for his eyes to meet mine.
He does as I ask, but it doesn’t quite work, because he’s staring at a black dot, not a person, and there’s as much emotion in his expression as you’d expect.
‘Thanks,’ I murmur. He goes back to looking at my face on the screen.
Charlie is already waiting when I come back down the hill.
‘Am I late?’ I ask.
‘No, I’m early,’ he replies, nodding at my phone. ‘Elliot?’
‘Yeah, finally got a chance to catch up.’
‘Everything good?’
‘Great.’ I smile. ‘He was just on his way to Circular Quay to meet up with some mates.’
‘What’s Circular Quay?’ he asks.
‘It’s the harbour where all the ferries dock,’ I explain. ‘Right by the Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge. There are loads of bars there. It’s where we first bumped into each other again, actually.’
He wants to know about it, so I fill him in on the drive to Heligan.
‘How did you and Nicki meet up again?’ I ask after a while.
‘I saw her in Padstow,’ he says. ‘She was in an art gallery, looking around, and I walked past the window. I stopped as soon as I saw her: it was the first time in years. I was so cold with her after we broke up – something I regretted – so it was my chance to make amends. She seemed happy to see me, so I asked her out for a coffee.’
