‘What is it, then?’
‘No, it’s just a bit... I guess it makes me feel... I don’t know. I know you’re just trying to be kind, but it’s not like we’re friends, are we?’
He recoils. ‘Aren’t we?’
‘Are we?’ My brow furrows.
He looks affronted. ‘Sorry, I kind of thought we were.’
Now I feelreallybad. ‘God. I don’t know why I just said that. I kind of thought we were too, butargh.Something you said the other day reminded me that I’m just an employee.’
‘What the fuck did I say?’ he asks, alarmed.
Christ, this is awkward. But he seems completely offended, so I force myself to continue. I remind him of what he said in Nicki’s office about my listening to him, not being what I was there for.
‘I didn’t mean it likethat!I just meant... Well, it’s notanybody’sjob to listen to me.’
‘Well,that’snot true. That’s what friends and family are for. It’sexactlytheir job.’
‘I don’t really like talking about what happened to Nicki.’
‘No, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Sometimes talking gets stuff out of your head and makes it easier to deal with.’
‘Wait, that’s not why you’ve been quiet the last few days, is it?’
I shrug.
‘Did I really upset you?’ He’s staring at me with growing horror and my cheeks begin to heat up.
‘No.’ I wave him away, but then sigh and stare at the sky. ‘Maybe just a little.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ he says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and giving me a quick squeeze. He lets me go again. ‘I wasn’t with it that day.’
‘It was my fault for putting the heart in April’s room. I felt like such a frigging idiot.’
He falls quiet. After a long moment, he says, ‘I don’t know why because I hate losing it like that, but I’m kind of glad that you did.’
Chapter 23
‘It’s pizza night!’ I say excitedly later that evening when Charlie drives up the steep hill leading to the campsite and the green horsebox comes into view. ‘I totally forgot!’
‘Oh, man...’ He stares longingly at the people queuing up for wood-fired-oven yumminess.
‘Stay and have one with me?’ I suggest.
‘Yeah?’ he asks distractedly, his eyes following a man carrying four pizza boxes across the road in the direction of the field steps. He looks at me and grins. ‘All right.’
I don’t have a neighbour at the moment so he parks up next toHermie.
‘Do you reckon April will be okay with the salt?’ he asks as he gets her out of her car seat.
‘I dunno.’
‘She’s almost one,’ he muses.
‘A margherita should be fine.’
‘Yeah, it should be, shouldn’t it?’
