If only I had...
Oh, my God! Idostill have a key! Charlie never asked for it back and I completely forgot to give it to him!
I lie. I kept it on purpose, like the crazy stalker that I am.
I dig around in my bag and pull it out, triumphant. Then, with my pulse going haywire, I get out of the car, walk up the path and insert the key in the lock.
If the alarm goes off, I’m busted.
I hold my breath, hoping he’s not about to come downstairs brandishing a baseball bat.
But nothing. Phew.
I very quietly close the door behind me and stand there, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. My heart contracts, knowing that the two people I love most in this world are upstairs, fast asleep. I really don’t want to completely freak Charlie out by appearing in his bedroom like an apparition, but I can’t –I just can’t– go any longer before seeing him again.
I head upstairs, pausing outside April’s room before deciding that,no, standing over her cot really would be too creepy.
I walk further along the corridor and halt again.
What am I doing?I’m probably going to give him a heart attack. For a moment I consider going back downstairs and waiting in my car until the sun comes up, but I decide to press on.
I take a deep breath and walk into his room. The sound of his steady breathing fills the air. I go and kneel at the side of his bed and look at his tranquil face.
‘Charlie,’ I whisper, brushing my hand over his arm. ‘Charlie?’
He jolts awake, his eyes widening as they turn from hazy to sharp.
‘Bridget?’
‘I don’t mean to terrify you, but I’ve driven all through the night to get here. Please don’t throw me out.’
He stares at me for a long moment, obviously surprised, but then he edges over in his bed and lifts up the cover of his duvet for me.
I’m filled with hope as I slide in next to him. We face each other in the darkness, pillow to pillow.
‘What are you doing here?’ he whispers.
‘I love you,’ I say. ‘And I’m not giving up, because I believe you love me too.’
He doesn’t deny it.
‘I’ve missed you so much.’ Emotion suddenly overcomes me and my eyes fill with tears. I cup the side of his face with my hand. ‘Please let me be a part of your life, Charlie. You have mywholeheart. You and April. I’ve never loved anyone more. I’d give up my flat in London in a heartbeat and move to Cornwall tomorrow, if you’d let me. I want to be with you forever. I want us to be a family.’
A beat passes. ‘Come here,’ he says gruffly, drawing me against his body. He kisses me gently and a shiver runs down my spine, but I’m scared of this just being sex. Perhaps he senses my reticence, because he pulls away. ‘I love you too,’ he says, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. ‘I’ve loved you for a long time. I don’t even know when I started loving you because there’ve been so many moments that made me love you. Does that make sense? I just needed time to come to terms with everything. I had to be sure. I neededyouto be sure.’
‘Iamsure.’ A tear slides from my eye.
‘I’m sorry I hurt you,’ he whispers, pulling me into the crook of his arm. ‘I’ll try not to do that again.’
I wrap my arms around his neck, wanting to get as close to him as possible. He tightens his grip on me so our bodies are completely flush to each other.
‘You really do give the best hugs,’ I say after a while.
‘One...’ he murmurs, ‘two... three...’ – I smile and kiss him – ‘four...’ he says against my mouth.
‘Seven seconds won’t be enough, you know,’ I warn.
He smiles at me in the darkness. ‘I’m okay with that.’
